In a week I'll be free.
I might have space to decompress and come here more often, I don't know.
There are things I want to say, NEED to say and don't have the ability to put into words yet.
Dunno if I ever will.
The last 7-8 years have been stifiling.
How did I not notice?
I guess, and my only real excuse, is that I wasn't expecting to live this long. So I wasn't as careful as I should have been.
Fucking... when a guy tells you he manipulated his Ex so she committed suicide after they broke up, no matter how nice he seems and how much he appears to have changed you RUN. Just fucking RUN.
People don't change.
Not people like that.
Fuck, I might be able to have my own interests again.
Part of why I stopped blogging, why I avoided this place, was because anything that I seemed enthusiastic about, anything that took time and attention and energy away from HIM was something he infiltrated and made his.
I ignored the warning signs because I honestly never expected to live this long.
Nice Guys, You don't ever complain about Nice Guys. Nobody believes you.
I still can't believe it. I'm halfway through the projected lifespan for people with my illness.
It's absolutely fucking surreal, I shit you not.
I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like I'm on the high dive, at the start of the rapids. About to push off and the next three months are going to be insane and dangerous and full of adrenaline and in the end all I can do is hope that it's gonna be worth it.
In the meantime I'm gritting my teeth and keeping my temper and taking very. deep. breaths.
I miss you all. So so fucking much.
~Peri
I might have space to decompress and come here more often, I don't know.
There are things I want to say, NEED to say and don't have the ability to put into words yet.
Dunno if I ever will.
The last 7-8 years have been stifiling.
How did I not notice?
I guess, and my only real excuse, is that I wasn't expecting to live this long. So I wasn't as careful as I should have been.
Fucking... when a guy tells you he manipulated his Ex so she committed suicide after they broke up, no matter how nice he seems and how much he appears to have changed you RUN. Just fucking RUN.
People don't change.
Not people like that.
Fuck, I might be able to have my own interests again.
Part of why I stopped blogging, why I avoided this place, was because anything that I seemed enthusiastic about, anything that took time and attention and energy away from HIM was something he infiltrated and made his.
I ignored the warning signs because I honestly never expected to live this long.
Nice Guys, You don't ever complain about Nice Guys. Nobody believes you.
I still can't believe it. I'm halfway through the projected lifespan for people with my illness.
It's absolutely fucking surreal, I shit you not.
I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like I'm on the high dive, at the start of the rapids. About to push off and the next three months are going to be insane and dangerous and full of adrenaline and in the end all I can do is hope that it's gonna be worth it.
In the meantime I'm gritting my teeth and keeping my temper and taking very. deep. breaths.
I miss you all. So so fucking much.
~Peri
