Saturday, 30 July 2011

Snow Pics

Gah, I promised them earlier in the week, but I got lazy :p Pulled an all-nighter on Thursday to walk down to Baldwin Street at 4am to yarnbomb the cabbage trees at the bottom :3

This is the hat I was wearing to the Yarnbombing:

(Got my hair in a clip)

My front yard, taken Monday/Tuesday:


The shitty driving conditions:

(We're a coastal town, we usually only get one decent snow a year and nothing like this much!)

Snow still falling:


Mt.Cargill playing coy:


Snowy snowy streets:


It cleared up on Tuesday evening:



This is what it was like at th Otago University clocktower, Tuesday lunchtime. Lucky fuckers at sea level!

Poor duckies had a harder go of it:


Snow settled for TWO days on the peninsula. This is how Dunedinites measure Hardcore Snow:

Apparently it was cut off from the mainland by snow in the 1960s 0.0; Glad I wasn't there for it!

Ok, need to tidy my house a bit <3

~Peri

Friday, 29 July 2011

:)

Ya know what totally made my week?

Walking up the hill this evening, right at sunset and it cleared just enough for there to be a perfect rainbow in the sky over town. The kind I used to think Carebears used to come down on as a kid.

What made it even better: The 1812 Overture spontaneously came on my iPod while I was watching it break up and fade as the sun went behind the hills.

I'm going to use THAT as my memory of today and not the constant nomming caused by insane tiredness.

~Peri

Dear Te Ururoa Flavell, Fuck You. Sincerely, Peridot

Te Ururoa Flavell can get away with this kind of shit with less backlash precisely BECAUSE he is (1)Male and (2)an MP for the Maori Party.

It doesn't stop him being an insensitive cocktard.

Article One. . .

Article Two, later that day . . .

and Article Three, a half-assed apology today.

'Sorry' just doesn't cut it for me. I'd like to force him to live the mental and emotional hell those children must have been living in and THEN see how his opinions change.

I find comments like 'suicide is selfish' to me misinformed, ignorant and insulting. When you:
-are intensely depressed
-are faced with the ignorance and stigma endemic in the general population
-have to deal with an incompetent, ignorant or overworked set of doctors, counselors etc
-try to talk about it with friends and family and are shut down with comments like 'harden up' 'your life isn't that that bad' 'stop being a fucking emo'
It is very fucking hard to NOT put yourself out of your misery.

Also: Depriving the family a chance to express their grief and treat the body of their loved one with dignity is intolerably cruel.

So once again, I say GO FUCK YOURSELF, FLAVELL.

~Peri

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Results

Not the kind you're thinking.

Well, the overeating and underexercising thanks to the DAMNED Doxepin has put me right back up to 62kg. *Dies*

Went to the doctor's today and it turns out that I have CHILBLAINS on my hands *Cries*

I rang the power company today to ask WHY I hadn't received a bill for 2 months. Turns out they just haven't been sending me any -.-

The doctor also did a sitting/standing BP test and didn't like it, so I have started new meds as of tonight. (Just keep trying until we find something that works, right? How about just letting me kill myself so I stop wasting your time?)

Mirtazapine, one of it's more common side effects are INCREASED APPETITE and ASSOCIATED WEIGHT GAIN. 17% chance? Well I can't eat more if I use the drowsiness it causes to sleep more, right? :3 The increasing of BP woul dbe good, however if I get the random fatiguing and weakness of muscles I WILL rage.

I have more photos of the snow, I'll put them up tomorrow. It is slowly, slowly melting. The papers are calling it a '15-years' event'

Going to go curl up in bed. I'm tired.

~Peri

Monday, 25 July 2011

PSA: Calisthenics, YOU'RE DOING THEM WRONG!

Something I've noticed is that ED peebs tend to misuse calisthenics in ways other than the obvious ED-related ones!

YES exercise is good. YES you need to do it. But what you need to do is STOP doing it wrong.

Calisthenics are generally exercises that build muscular strength, however there are ones that increase your heart-rate for aerobic or cardio-vascular exercise purposes.

But what I've seen a lot (Pretty much ALL) people doing is trying to use the STRENGTH exercises for CARDIO PURPOSES.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

If you try to get your heart-rate up by doing things like dips, push-ups and crunches, you're doing it WRONG. You sacrifice technique for speed, and you do NOT get the real benefits of the exercise. You're not activating the right muscle groups and you'll only hurt yourself.

IT IS BETTER TO DO 20 REPS WITH GOOD TECHNIQUE THAN 100 SHITTY ONES.

If you do them PROPERLY and build nice skeleton-supporting, calorie-burning muscles. If you do them badly you don't work the right muscle groups and put all sorts of fucked-up strain on your joints.

Do you wanna be bent over like Mr.Burns and limping like a horse with rickets?

I don't think so.

If you want to get your heart-rate up and don't have access to treadmills etc, try burpees or star jumps/jumping jacks instead. THOSE are the kinds of calisthenics you should be doing to up your heart-rate!

DON'T think that you'll bulk up like a body-builder by doing strength exercises and general weight training. THAT IS BULLSHIT. Women are NOT capable of achieving that kind of physique without years of dedicated training. MEN cannot achieve that kind of physique without dedicated training!

(Aside: Bodybuilders start eating a low-carb high-protien diet MONTHS out from competition to force their bodies into ketosis alongside intense daily training sessions to achieve the kinds of bodies they have on stage. The poor fuckers at my gym are so tired they're falling asleep on the benchpress station and the competition is still a month away :( You have to have an unhealthily low bodyfat percentage as well as insane muscles to be able to see all the muscle groups like that!)

Do some research, do it RIGHT and you'll look far better in your togs when you're 40 than the silly bastards who pound out 100+reps in under a minute and go on to whine about how much their back/neck hurts.

Do it RIGHT or don't bother doing it at all.

~Peri

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Eat Your Hearts Out, Snowless North!

Guess what I got?

SNOW.

Snow days always make me happy.

Taken at 10am, before work.

Mt.Cargill hiding in the snow.


Snowing out my window.


The neighbour's chairs before work:


And after work:


The roads were utter CARNAGE. Motorways north and south closed (Cut off from the world AGAIN) Stuart Street gritted but still impassable, Pine Hill Road also closed. Accidents everywhere. The Lotto Girl's parents drove into town from Mosgeil to pick her up, and it took them 40mins to get 100m along the southern motorway thanks to some of the gits out driving today.

DRIVE TO THE CONDITIONS, WHEN THEY CHANGE REDUCE YOUR SPEED.

Go here to find landmarks.

There was 1.5cm of snow settled on the carpark when I left work. I work at sea level :3

FUCKWIT STORE BOSS wouldn't close the store, despite how many of his staff were stranded in town thanks to the unsafe driving conditions.

WHY????

"There are still customers in the store"

*Facepalm*

The Smarmy Competition were shut. If I had $US1 for ever asshole who expressed surprise at our being at work today despite the roads, I'd be able to retire AND IMPORT a pony!

WE HAVE TO BE HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE. BUYING YOUR 'ESSENTIAL' BEER AND POTATO CHIPS. FUCK OFF HOME SO WE CAN GO HOME TOO, DUMBASS.

That said, I'm going to work on my knitting and pray that class is cancelled in the morning. I'm not looking forward to trekking across town in the morning after this shit freezes.

~Peri

Friday, 22 July 2011

Told Miles about the Bday pressie idea for Dad.

Loudly, as you have to with partially-deaf people.

In line for The Tutor last night.

*Sigh* The cretinous later-middle-age ladies in front of us had OBVIOUSLY never heard of the Pythons. Sad, deprived little women.

I watched Black Swan and I Am Number Four. Loved them both.

Stress Bunny Boss tried to get me to work Tweedle D's close shift tonight, when she knows I start at 0730 tomorrow morning. Stupid bitch,

I've got 264 stitches cast on a shiny new 3mm round needle to knit myself a 'sleeveless pullover' (It's an American pattern)

Rang the Psych Triage back to tell them that I'm graduating, student health hasn't gotten onto me and by the time they do, I'll be gone. The said they'll reopen my referral on Monday.

Why? I just want the sodding monsters to eat me already.

Fuck, back to knitting and catching up on blogs. 3*3 rib for 2.cm, and it's a loooong row.

~Peri

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Distracting Like A BUSS



. . . If a bus could knit. So maybe like a Boss?

Distracting like a BOSS. Still feel like a suicidal mess, but with Vivaldi's Seasons cranking and pretty yarns I can forget for 5mins at a stretch.

Like a BOSS.


^cloth armour for levl 0 humans. The purple booties are for Ana's Girl.

And a fuckton of hats.

^For the DJ Boca J Rydin


^Completed today, for a bodybuilder/PT/WoW freak at my gym


^Jenn's hat, for guessing Mum's age right.

I'm going to go learn how to crochet. I found a crochet human fetus pattern, so guess what Dad's getting for his 50th?

A fetus in a box.



PERFECT.

Miles can find a nice box and I can make the fetus. After all, isn't that what females are SUPPOSED to do? Make fetuses? *Smug face*

I also picked up my shrug yarn today. After 3 more pigs, a fuckton of baby gear, some crap for the Fresh Futures craft stall and some gear for Puffy Paws' thrift shop I can knit myself a shrug.

Ok, going to go pour myself a Jager&Lemonade and set to work on the pig.

~Peri the BOSS

Keep Calm and Cock Your Shotgun

At uni. Printed and did my homework after class.

We got let go early, or at least as soon as we (As a class/herd) found 5 transitive and 5 intransitive verbs in one of the readings from the textbook.

As native english speakers, thats a hard ask first thing in the morning. Thank Gods for particles.

There are people from a local Shetland pony stud giving pony/ponycart rides on the Union Lawn. I now have a name for teachers of caring for minihorses and training them for cartwork for my Master Plan. (You know, the house in the bush with ponies and a veggie garden that the writers/artists/crazy amoung you can come to as a retreat)

Planning as if I'll survive this, since not doing so in the past has meant an extra few years at Uni and a whole lot of embarrassment. Of course, I am still hoping that I do not survive. Spending another 25 or 50 years with this SHIT inside my head sounds more like the Christian hell than hell itself could ever be.

At least eternal fire and brimstone would be warm. My hands are warming up properly for the first time in 5 days and it feels like there are tiny beetles or worms crawling through the capillaries.

Millipedes. There are millipedes under my skin.

Knitting Squad in half an hour. I'm going to read your blogs and maybe play some sneaky in-browser Minecraft. Hiding from the yummy American candues they sell in the campus shop. I'm back in the upper-61kg range. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Thank you very much for your comments. They have made me a bit less likely to randomly club passers-by with my helmet.

<3
~peri

Monday, 18 July 2011

Monday Again

Survived the weekend.

Had a HORRIBLE dream on Saturday night.

Kimmeh's Mum intervened me with a bunch of random people (Not a single 'friend' among them) and they tried to take me to Wakari (The local loony bin) in an ambulance.

FUCK.

All I could think was 'What the hell? I haven't tried to kill myself yet. I'm not skinny, so why the hell are they doing this to me?'

Awoke with a new resolve.

Step 1:
Alienate EVERYONE so they can't intervene and stop me from killing (euthanizing) myself.

Step 2:
There is a place close to here that does your will for free. I'm all over that shit.

More steps when those are sorted.

Today I spent about 5 hours at Uni. 2 of them in class, the other 3 hurry-up-and-waiting for signatures/stamps for my Limited Fulltime Study forms for Studylink. Some silly cow booked the Burns computer lab and didn't post it on the door, so I don't have my homework printed out. Need to get it tomorrow.

Trying to get my head around the idea that I DESERVE to be slim and pretty so I can get the hell on with my Ultimate Backup Plan by depriving myself of enough calories over a long enough period of time to cause massive internal organ failure.

Or just a heart attack, I'm cool with that.

(Losing weight has always been about invisible suicide to me. My the time people notice, its too late for them to do anything. ESPECIALLY if I do nothing that they can use to have me declared insane and locked up against my will)

Went into work for an extra 3.5 hours today coz Jaq has a sore back *Eyeroll* Sorry honey, no milk left in the sympathy udder for you.

It was so fucking broing I contemplated chewing my own leg off for entertainment. (Hence why I laughed so much when I saw Mich's latest Mordor Coffee installment. MAN FLESH!!1!)

Have a present.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm like a train wreck inside. Going to ring the Psych Board people tomorrow to inform them of why referring me to Student Health was such a bad idea, and to advise them to wipe me off their list, since I don't want their help anymore.

I just want the monsters to eat me. I'm sick and tired of this shit.

Still, not doing anything until I have a will, so my cat will be ok. Maybe I should fly off Lawyer's Head and get it closed off for a bit and piss off the boy racers? Dolly always said that she thought that people who jumped off there were being inconsiderate.

Yeah, how about YOU be considerate and give them some cyanide pills to put themselves out of their misery with?

Right now I should probably stick a hot water bottle in my bed and play minecraft while it heats my footspace up. I have a Megurine Luka skin that I'm loving the hell out of right now.

I'm an angry, morbid bitch. Have a puppy.


Just don't know what to do anymore.

~Peri

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Rage Is The Only Option

I'm getting really pissed off with Facebook.

For a start: The games are BORING money-grubbing spammy pieces of shit.

Another thing: I can't express myself honestly without having people leap all over me and call me a pathetic emo and tell me that a)I need to harden up, b)Their life is SO MUCH HARDER than mine.

Are you kidding me? One-upmanship is a fucking shitty thing to pull on your mates. It makes you even MORE of an asshole if you bring it into the realms of comparing mental illnesses rather than dick size.

It also lets me isolate like nobody's business.

If you discount mandatory Knitting Squad and Work encounters, I've had face-to-face social contact with only my partner out of the entire Dunedin-living portion of my 'Friends List' in the last 2 months.

That doesn't seem healthy to me.

To be honest, I'm sick of lying my ass off all the time, but being completely truthful gets me nowhere.

I'm just so bloody tired of always fighting and always begin alone. Fucking hell! Even MILES, my BOYFRIEND hasn't even bothered to type 'clinical depression' into google after 18 months of official relationshipness, a change of meds and a many attempts to explain whats going on inside me head.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I've given up. I don't give a fuck. I want the monsters to hurry up and eat me or stop wasting my time. I want to wall myself off in a cave and never come out. I want to destroy the human race and die happy knowing that we won't be fucking it up for the rest of the planet any more. I want to hide and never speak to another person again. I want to get drunk and slash my wrists and bleed out while headbanging to Tchaikovsky.

I'm getting mad because my only other option is to give in and die.

So sick and tired of this shit.
~Peri

Friday, 15 July 2011

Shishosetsu Essay

I remember last semester someone (Whose name I have now forgotten! Please don't kill me!) said they wanted to know more about Shishosetsu, and I used it as my research essay topic for the Modern Japanese Fiction paper.

The paper is now LONG over and done with, so I can post up my essay without being hit with blunt objects for PLAGIARIZING MYSELF ZOMG!1!!!

You can tell I haven't being doing much worth posting about lately. Its fucking FREEZING!!! All I seem to do is shiver and eat -.-; Housework would warm me up, but I seem to conveniently forget that fact when faced with a bucket of soapy lukewarm water.

So, here is my essay, WITH references! I was talking out my ass for the entirety of this. Don't expect it to sound intelligent or make sense. I don't know what mark I ended up getting D:

Prepare for WALL OF TEXT!

Introduction
For the purpose of this essay I have chosen to make a study of the Japanese literary genre known was the “Shishosetsu”, or “I-Novel”. Different methods of communication have always fascinated me, and this genre was something I had never heard of before. I set out to find what it was, how it developed and whether or not it had a counterpart in Western literature.
The first section of this essay comprises some of what I have come to understand are the stylistic and literary characteristics the make up the genre of the Shishosetsu. I found that it was at once simpler and more complex than I had thought, with contradictions in both style and content that seem to be uniquely Japanese.
The second part will contain an attempt at a brief sketch of the history and evolution of the genre with the help of some of the works of Haruo Shirane and Tomi Suzuki. Their combined skills were very useful in helping to create a clear picture of where and how this particular style of writing came to be.
Finally, I will explore the reactions of Westerners to the genre, based on a comprehensive essay by ---Delacour and my first reaction to a novel of this type. (Said reaction being indelibly etched on my memory for the thoroughly unexpected experience it was) I have attempted to compare the Western reaction to the novel with that of the Japanese readership the novels are intended for, and pose some tentative theories as to why the opinions of the two groups differ.

What is Shishosetsu?
The Shisosetsu, or “I-Novel” is a form of writing unique to the Japanese literary tradition that has its earliest roots in the diaries of the ladies of the Heian court. This genre has provided the backbone for, and comprises the bulk of the Japanese literary tradition since those times.( 1996, Irmela Hijiya-Kirschnereit, Rituals of Self-Revelation: Shishosetsu as Literary Genre and Socio-Cultural Phenomenon.p.170)
As this genre evolved in Japan, which kept itself isolated from foreign cultural influences for centuries, it is both useless and impossible to define it properly based on Western literary conventions. To define something by terms it grew independently of is a futile endeavour; however they are still useful when describing it to someone familiar with the Western literary style. For the Shishosetsu, we must rely on what the Japanese literati say defines the genre in order to understand it. (Hijiya-Kirschnereit p.171)
The Shishosetsu is characterised as a semi-autobiographical work of fiction, with the Author using a blend of fiction and non-fiction writing techniques to relate events from their life in a semi-imaginary framework. The product of this blending of literary techniques is a novel that is more reflective and confessional than anything produced by Western fiction writers. Sometimes, however, the sense of reflection can be hard to discover at the shock of having a disembodied narrator mercilessly tell you a story without introducing themselves at all.( Hijiya-Kirschnereit p.175)
Due to Japanese literature evolving in isolation from its Western counterpart, the Shishosetsu Genre contains some unique and interesting combinations of writing techniques that are considered stylistic mix-ups from the Western point of view. While writing a Shishosetsu an author can draw on many different non-fiction forms of expression to create what is, in actual fact, a fiction novel. The Japanese readership understands that while the text and reality may not have much in common, the narrative it contains “reproduces the reality experienced by the author.”(Hijiya-Kirschnereit p.174) What they are reading is an author’s interpretation of events as they happened, and they are reassured by the solid fact behind the fiction.
On occasion the narrative can be quite hard to follow, as the diary-writing style of the Shishosetsu means the Author relates the events as they would for themselves or for a childhood friend who knows intimately everything that has happened to the author over the course of their life.(Hijiya-Kirschnereit p.175) Sometimes extremely important events are only hinted at or referred to in passing, never actually being mentioned or described. I can imagine this may be a little frustrating for a Japanese reader who has only just picked up a novel of a given author, and has not yet had a chance to find out about their life and the background of the particular work. I can only compare this habit of the authors of Shishosetsu to finding the second book of a really good new trilogy. You are constantly being given tantalising allusions and references to the events of the first book, which you must then go and find to understand what is going on. This situation being replicated in a stand-alone Shishosetsu work is no doubt less frustrating for a Japanese reader than it would be for a Western one, as they would have more information regarding the author readily available to them.
This ease with which the general public could verify the truth of events behind the novel they were reading, even in the early stages of the genre, became part of a driving force for factual accuracy and honesty in the Shishosetsu genre.(Hijiya-Kirschnereit p178) If the author attempted to deviate from the historical chain of events, or even ventured to put a spin on them that differentiated from the publically accepted version was met with outrage and intense criticism from both the readers and the Japanese Literati, who literally held the publishing life of the author in their hands. This created a strong incentive for early Shishosetsu authors to stay faithfully true to the reality of the events they were depicting, despite the fact that they were in actual fact writing fiction novels. The authors developed the voice of sincerity that now a hallmark of the genre almost out of self-defence.

A Short History of Shishosetsu
The earliest roots of the Japanese Shishosetsu genre are in the Heian women’s diaries, the “Kana Nikki” which were produced during the Heian court rule of Japan during the years spanning 794 through to 1185. At this time the literate noblemen of the Heian court disdained the native alphabet in favour of learning and writing in Chinese, which they perceived as being more sophisticated. Thus it was the ladies of the Heian-era court who created the first works of literature to be written in the Japanese tongue. The Kana diaries which were produced by the literate ladies of the Heian court were autobiographies arranged to be read as novels, in that they followed a central theme and left out details irrelevant to the progression of the narrative.(2000, Haruno Shirane and Tomi Suzuki, Inventing the Classics: Modernity, National Identity, and Japanese Literature, Chapter 3 Pages 71-95, p82) So one could almost say that the practise of writing an autobiography disguised as fiction has been a genre in the Japanese literary tradition since its earliest beginnings.
The Kana Diaries of the Heian women finally achieved canon status as part of the Japanese literary tradition in the 1920s as “Nikki Bungaku”, or Diary Literature, came into vogue once again in Japan.(Shirane and Suzuki, p71) At this time Doi Koichi, a noted Japanese scholar of English Literature, wrote a history of Japanese literature that categorised the Heian Kana Nikki and other Nikki Bungaku writings as being halfway between lyrical and narrative fiction. (Shirane and Suzuki , p84) In his work Doi also highlighted a key characteristic of Shishosetsu and Nikki Bungaku writings, which is the strong sense of self-reflection on the part of the Author contained within the narratives.
The next person of note in the history of the Shishosetsu genre is a man named Ikeda Kikan, who was the first person to do an extensive, in-depth study of the Kana Nikki. His study lead him to develop a theory of a “Literature of Self-Reflection”(Shirane and Suzuki, p85) based around the diary style of the Heian diaries. In this category he placed everything from diaries and letters to critical essays. He felt that for a piece of Diary Literature to be a good example of its type, it had to be past-oriented, spontaneous, contemplative and sincere.(Shirane and Suzuki , p85) He took a great dislike to the only Kana Nikki that was ever written by a man, as he felt that “it’s creative mode and self-reflection could not be regarded as genuine.”( Shirane and Suzuki , p85)
It wasn’t until the mid-1920s that the terms “Watakushi Shosetsu” (I-Novel) and “Shishosetsu” (Also ‘I-Novel’, a different reading of the same characters.) came into use. (Shirane and Suzuki, p89) It was at this time that international and national debate began over how to define the genre. The Japanese literati attempted to make it clear that this was a continuation of a well-established, authentic Japanese literary Genre. The Western literati placed high value on pure fiction, and found it somewhat difficult to accept a literary form that recounted factual events from the author’s life and experience.(Shirane and Suzuki, p89)
After the end of World War Two, the Shishosetsu genre and the collection of Heian Kana Nikki again came under scrutiny, and were labelled as a product of Japan’s “underdeveloped modernity”.(Shirane and Suzuki, P91) It was also devalued as a genre because the narrative relied so closely on the Author’s own experience, as it was difficult for the Western literati to tell where fiction left off and recounting of real events from the Author’s own life began. The new Western-born readers of Shishosetsu considered it to be a fatal flaw if a novel could not stand independent of its Author.

Shishosetsu through Eastern and Western Eyes.
The Shishosetsu is a style of literature that is unique to Japan. However, that means it is the product of a unique cultural outlook and way of looking at the world that does not immediately or easily mesh with that of the West. The introduction of translated Shishosetsu works into the Western literature market has produced mixed reviews of both the individual texts and the genre itself. These reviews are the product of the culture and personal understanding of the reviewer, so naturally some are good, but these have almost been entirely outweighed by the initial reception and the circumstances under which the West was introduced to this particular product of Japan’s literary tradition.
Westerners love autobiographies. The juicer the scandal contained within its pages, or the more horrific the tragedy the author was involved in, the more we like them and the better they sell. One could therefore assume that if such a novel has been fine-tuned to provide really good scandal or tales of survival in the face of adversity it would be even MORE popular than such stories left with messy loose threads and a lack of closure. (When one writes the tale of one’s own life, one must still be alive and so the story is not yet actually finished.) However, this is not the case. Upon first picking up a Shishosetsu novel, many Westerners don’t know what kind of creature they have in their hands. It comes as a bit of a shock to them, then, to find that what they may have assumed was a bit of light romance or well-played period drama is actually something a lot closer to reality than they bargained for. They can feel cheated by the ‘Fiction’ label attached to such works, as the general confessional tone of the work is of something that should reside in the Non-Fiction section.
When a Japanese literary critic praises a Shishosetsu, what they praise is how closely it follows the actual events of the author’s life.(Jonathon Delacour, 23rd April 2003, Shishosetsu and the Myth of Sincerity, http://weblog.delacour.net/archives/2003/04/shishosetsu_and_the_myth_of_sincerity.php) Japanese readers and critics treat the Shishosetsu as a Non-fiction work, despite the understood intent on the part of the Author that the text is to be classified as Non-Fiction.(Delacour) A good Shishosetsu is supposed to narrate some portion of the author’s life, in the mode of a well-told confession. The Japanese literati consider any Shishosetsu novel that doesn’t provide some sort of honest glimpse into the author’s life to be substandard literature, or mere ‘popular entertainment’.(Delacour) What you have, with a Shishosetsu, is a work of literature that uses a combination of fiction and non-fiction methods of storytelling to tell a story that is only fictional on the surface.
Within a Shishosetsu novel, methods of writing that have been traditionally considered separate in Western literary traditions are combined. An author of such a work draws from diary and essay forms as well as non-fiction forms to create a fictional retelling of an event the author actually experienced. (Delacour) Because Japanese literature evolved in isolation from the rest of the world, nobody told them they couldn’t use fiction writing to confess events of their life or to create a work of fiction using methods of writing that are usually used to record factual happenings. Since Japanese authors weren’t told that it was an impossibility to mix genres like this, they went ahead and did so, creating in the process a genre unique to their country and culture.
The combination of literary contradictions contained within a Shishosetsu text can almost give a Westerner reading one the sense of being lied to in that the novel was labelled as fiction. This is interesting, as honesty of expression is considered a key component of a true Shishosetsu novel. Honesty is a prized character trait in Japan, originating in the Samurai code of Bushido which expected it’s adherents to be honest in all their dealing with their fellow man. While the events or theme of the text must stay true to life, it is honesty of expression that is considered the most important aspect of the work.
Another reason for such a seemingly odd form of fiction (From a Western Perspective) is that the traditional Japanese literati perceived a Western-style form of pure fiction to be essentially a pack of lies. Naturally, with the national passion for honesty there was intense stigma against pure fiction until Japan opened to the West. The Shishosetsu form of writing seems to have been a way the Japanese have created over the centuries to provide a form of light entertainment that, while superficially fictional, is still honest in the events and the recollections of such that the Author recounts.
A major problem with Western reception of the Shishosetsu has its roots in the long period of time in which Japan shut itself off from the world, and the circumstances under which it re-joined the international community. Throughout its history, Japan has looked up to more developed countries and freely imported what aspects of culture and technology they liked in order to increase their living standards at home. The most easily traceable example of this is borrowing the Chinese alphabet and adapting it to writing the Japanese language over the course of centuries.
At the end of the Second World War, when Japan was forced to lay down arms and re-join the global community in a peaceful and productive capacity, the most technologically advanced countries and societies were Westernised ones; chiefly America and Britain. In order to catch up with the rest of the world, Japan therefore had to import technology from Western countries. Along with the technology, the Japanese also imported a lot of Western culture. Along with their cultural importations came a variety of new methods of painting and writing as well as cinema, which they readily adopted and instantly began the process of making them their own. This massive importation of both technology and culture had the unfortunate side-effect of pushing Japan’s own literature and art aside, as they were stigmatized by being associated with Japan’s feudal era.
Many in the West then drew the conclusion from this that Japan’s own artistic scene was underdeveloped, unrefined or naturally inferior in comparison with that of the West. They assumed that if Japan’s own literature and art had been modern and sophisticated, they would not have been so easily pushed aside in favour of those from the West. This assumption ignores the fact that the world’s first novel was written by a lady of Japan’s Heian era, and that forms of artistic expression in Japan that had been perfected over centuries. Until the resurgence of interest in the Shishosetsu in the 1920s, Western literary critics perceived it to be merely a failed attempt at copying Western-style novel writing,(Delacour) and not a well-developed style of writing that had been around for centuries.

Conclusion
The Shishosetsu, in some form or another, has been a part of Japan’s literary tradition from its earliest inception. It has grown from the Kana diaries of the noblewomen of the Heian Court to become the essential core of literature for the entire Japanese nation.
A Shishosetsu text is far more complex than it seems on the surface, being a recounting of actual events as experienced by the author placed in a fictional setting. The combination of what Western literati may call ‘disparate’ writing styles contained within such a work creates an interesting and unique form of written entertainment.
Due to the different evolutions of literature and culture in Japan and the West and the circumstances of the two meeting, the Shishosetsu has not been given the merit it deserves on the Western stage. It may be that for a Westerner to come to read a Shishosetsu text as comfortably as someone born in Japan, they must first investigate the author and history of the work as would a Japanese fan of a given novel.

Bibliography
Hideyuki Tanabe, February 28th 2011, Mainichi Shinbun, http://mdn.mainichi.jp/perspectives/newsnavigator/archive/news/2011/02/20110218p2a00m0na019000c.html
Jonathon Delacour, 23rd April 2003, Shishosetsu and the Myth of Sincerity, http://weblog.delacour.net/archives/2003/04/shishosetsu_and_the_myth_of_sincerity.php
2000, Haruno Shirane and Tomi Suzuki, Inventing the Classics: Modernity, National Identity, and Japanese Literature, Chapter 3 Pages 71-95
1993, Karatani Kojin, Origins of Modern Japanese Literature, Chapter 3 Pages 76-96
1996, Irmela Hijiya-Kirschnereit, Rituals of Self-Revelation: Shishosetsu as Literary Genre and Socio-Cultural Phenomenon.

/Wall of Text

Who feels educated? Confused? o.O;

If you now actually want to READ a Shishostesu, go to your library and pillage:
1) Some Prefer Nettles, Junichiro Tanizaki
2)The Sound of the Mountain, Yasunari Kawabata
That is about all I can remember off the top of my head as being referred to as Shishosetsu in class. Not that I went very often. . .

Ok, gonna go hang my washing out and start sorting out my tax return, since Amaris Starshine was awesome enough to remind me! I should be owed a fair wee bit by now. . .

~Peri

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FIRST SNOOOOOOOW!

All I can say is:

ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!! I thought it would NEVER get here! The skifields out Central (Central Otago, for you foreign devils) have been shitting themselves in terror at the prospect of a warm (and thus snowless) winter.

I took pics :3 I also rode my motorbike to class in the middle of one of the three stormfronts that rolled through yesterday. You proud of me? I'm proud of me!


^That was a few hours after it passed on north and it got sunny. I was distracted forcing myself to finish sewing the last planned padded motorbike cover (Old sheets and old clothes) so some ot melted before I got my camera out.


^This is just after the sun dropped behind the hills, but before it went down completely.

Since class hours have been nerfed (Geek term, means weakened/decreased. Picture replacing your bullets with foam darts) this semester I have a buttload more study to do at home.

:'( I wanna play Minecraft and breed my Unicorns! (I installed a mod that gives me horses :3 You have a chance for Unicorns and Pegusai!)

(FUUUUUUU- One of my unicorns escaped. Poor Bert. He has run away and been eaten by bears. I built the walls EXTRA high after completing my homework so Dory will be safe)

Oh well, 5 months to go. By that time it looks like Notch might have put the Mo'Creatures mod into the game itself :D The NPC Villages comment in his blog looks like Millinaire has made it in! *Squees and flails with joy*

I also have another hat commission. One of the bodybuilders/PTs wants a purple and orange earflap hat. Business card time?

Also: I'm going to see this. EXCITEMENT!


Going to go scarf down my porridge and continue work on an earflap for a certain person who saw through the tobacco damage and got Mum's age right. . .

Love you!

~Peri

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Saturday

Saturday night is the Monday night of my working week. From now on I REFUSE to let myself get bummed out for not going drinking/partying/doing drugs on Friday or Saturday nights. They're my Sunday and Monday, kthnx.

Plenty of time for that kind of carry-on after class on Wednesday and Thursday!

Sometimes reading your blogs can be extremely exhausting in my current state of Hermity McEmopants-ness, but I love you guys. You put up with my shit and stick around even when I'm being a Horrible Monster, so I return the love even if I have nothing to comment with.

Isn't it pathetic that even the distant form of blog-socializing is too damn much right now?

Nearly threw something at a customer just before my lunch break. I was so shitty I broke an EXTREMELY expensive slicing machine and had to call on Big T's Man Skillz to fix it while I went and had a soothing coffee&hide-in-book session.

8 random things in vaguely brown tones from my Tumblr, coz I can:







More next week.

~Peri

Friday, 8 July 2011

FUCK THE WORLD

I am completely and utterly out of fucks to give. About everything.

Woe betide any poor sod who tries to make smalltalk with me on my breaks this weekend. There will be decapitation and heads on pikes outside the lady's loos/bodies hurled out onto the one-way system.

There had better bloody well be coffee in the staffroom. I'm on short rations this week.

I've been eating nonstop. Can't fill this void in me with ANYTHING.

Gained 1kg in 2 days.

I'm thoroughly unimpressed by how incurious the general population is. People seem to be completely incapable or just unwilling to do even the most cursory investigation on a given subject.

Wikipedia is there for a REASON, fucktard!

The very reason I do not read Ninteen Eighty-Four very often is the precise reason I should read it more often.

New duvet inner from The Warehouse. They've got all sizes at $15 each this week. . . I got a new one so my thoroughly abused one can become a spare for winter or emergencies involving at cat pissing on my bed.

Last night was the first time in about a month when I didn't wake up from the cold at least once. *Smug face*

(She is now on a total bedroom ban. No third chances are given here. You blow your second one, and you're fucked. Just because it's raining outside and it is the middle of winter does NOT excuse you from pissing outside like a normal cat.)

I can tell winter is really here when my feet cramp instantly from the temperature of my scale in the morning. Fucking Dunners winters. 45*south and HATING it.

Timetables FINALLY up. 1000-1200 Monday and 1100-1200 Tuesday and Wednesday. I could possibly take on another permanent shift this semester. HAH! At the rate the Higher Ups are cutting hours from the wages budget they won't replace the next person to quit/retire. They didn't replace the last one who left. . .

Got a hat to finish. Then I'll try to get two pigs done next week. Reggo is due on the 27th and I have to go to the docs in a fortnight.

Blood pressure was 108/62 after a day of binging on salty and sugary foods. (2/3rds of a block of chocolate are in the bin covered in shower cleaner. The other block-and-a-third are in my digestive tract somewhere)

Urging my last cyclamen to start flowering. It's the ruffly pink one that smells nice.

DAMMIT I WANT SOMETHING GOOD TO HAPPEN.

~Peri

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Various Obsessions

I HAVE to share this with you guys! I DID NOT come up with this, although I wish I did! I did tweak it just a tiny bit.

"Hello, MineCrafters.

Look at your armor, now back at mine, now look at your armor, now back at mine. Sadly, my armor isnt yours. But if you stoped screwing around with your castle and explored some caves, it could look like mine.

Look down, Back up. Where are you? You're in that cave you fell into and lost four hearts.

Whats in your hand? I have it. It's an apple. Look again, THE APPLE IS NOW GOLD. Anything is possible when you play MineCraft.

I'm on a pig.
"


I also found a lovely little seed the other night when I created a new map for the express purpose of running right out to the edge of it. (Each MineCraft world has a surface area 8 times that of Earth. For all intents and purposes, it is INFINITE) I decided to name the world 'End of the Earth' and used the seed 'Klaatu'.

Its sodding IDYLLIC!! Think Michael Rennie's Klaatu, and not Keanu Reeves'. Blimey!

I aww-ed so many times watching the original The Day the Earth Stood Still. We were so much more innocent and naive back then. Now we simply assume that politicians and the military that has to listen to them will go ahead and merrily fuck everything up. The recent version was a damn good update, in my opinion.

THIS quote is still relevant: "I am fearful when I see people substituting fear for reason."

And this exchange:
"Secretary: The phone doesn't work.
Mr. Krull: Well then call the phone company.
Secretary: But... the phone doesn't work!
"
(Who HASN'T been stuck in a similar loop when trying to deal with utilities/universities?)

BACK to Minecraft: I found clay near the spawn, and a few pumpkins on nearvy islands. There is a massive cavern complex nearby that I haven't finished exploring yet, but it has already yielded a spider dungeon and 11 diamonds! (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!) There are ground-level lava pools down in the desert biome.

Funnily enough, my current skin is THIS young lady:

(I got a little tired of being Sailor Mars, even though punching down trees in a Sailor Mars suit is fucking hysterical)

Yes, I love both Minecraft and Sailor Moon. Deal with it.

Because I'm completely ADDICTED, here are some photos of what I've been knitting recently:

First: The very kitteny baby singlet.

It needs a matching hat with EARS!!!

Second: The first ever baby bootie. SUPPOSEDLY newborn size. I put it beside my cellphone for comparison.

Newborn size? Newborn staffie, maybe.

THIS is more like it. These patterns are supposed to fit newborn->6m/o spawns.


Finally, this is my new scarf. About bloody time I finished it! You know you live in Dunedin when you leave the fridge open in the morning to head the room up.


Today has not been a good day. Tomorrow there is knitting squad, so at least I will leave the house. (I'm honestly not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. . .)

Have some more Within Temptation. This song fits so many things right now.



"From the nightmare we've created
I want to be awakened somehow

When we start killing
it all will be falling down.
From the Hell that we're in
All we are is fading away
"

~Peri

Monday, 4 July 2011

Didn't work on Sunday, I barely made it through Saturday in one piece.

Dizzy, greying out whenever I picked up a champage ham and my sodding TONGUE went numb! I was slurring and weaving. I looked bloody drunk!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

THE BLASTED HAM WAS ONLY 9KG!! THAT'S LESS THAN MY BLOODY WARM-UP WEIGHT FOR BICEP CURLS!

I'm feeling like a textbook case for hypotension right now.

RAGE.

Tried practicing Poi, nearly puked everywhere. Blood wanted to be in my muscles, not near my stomach.

FUCK YOU you should be ALL THROUGH me, not in select places.

I was also wrong about the chest pains being gone, although they seem to have decreased in frequency. I probably pulled a muscle when the shaved ham was cheap.

Gym Momma is going to check my blood pressure on Thursday, and I'm going to have a serious talk with the doc. I'll need a refill before September, so if it doesn't get any better I'll be UNLEASHING like a BITCH.

I'm getting bitch lessons and applying them.

Some of the initial side effects have subsided, and I should know what I have to live with by this time next week.

Fighting and getting angry. Thats how you stay alive.



At least, when you have the energy and will left to get angry.

Course approval is this week, so no visit to Glamour Nana :(

So bloody tired. This sleeping like a 'normal' person is weird.

~Peri

Friday, 1 July 2011

Waffle

-.-

^That emoticon pretty much describes my week.

I managed a mission on foot (Not very smart to drive right now. Even just standing up makes me ridiculously lightheaded) to get my mail from Wal&Dolly and drop their books back that I borrowed for Summer School. I've been trying to give them back for about 5 months now, but Dolly was ignoring my text messages.

I asked her to leave the mail in the mailbox last week in case nobody was home when I got there, but she kindly ignored that too. Silly cow.

I did a light weights session at the Gym yesterday and today, and one of the awesome older Personal Trainers (Imma call her Gym Momma) offered to check my blood pressure next time I'm in when she's working. This lady is AMAZING. 50 years old and she's STILL building muscle. She does endurance sports. Wow, just wow. I hope I'm even HALF that fit when I'm her age! I'm betting a good third of her bodyweight is sheer muscle, coz she sure as shit doesn't have much fat on her!

One thing that really got on my tits was the pressure being put on one of the trainers to lose weight. She's like me, she stores it around her thighs, hips and ass (Pear shaped. Fun.). She is trying to lose it and from what I overheard she is practically starving herself WITH PUSH TO DO SO from the guy who run the gym. Now I KNOW I don't have the full story, and I only heard bits and snatches (Eavesdropping, or 'earwigging' as Mum calls it) but what I heard had me absolutely livid.

NOT FUCKING COOL.

I want to write her a letter telling her to be sensible about it. I said that healthy weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint, but I don't think she was listening. She'd hopped on the scales a day before weigh day and had gained. She was in a right state. You know how it goes.

I haven't been blogging much recently, and for that I apologize. This week has been shit. All side-effects and nothing else. I hate how these things take so long to kick in.

So far I'm constantly woozy and my blood pressure is through the FLOOR. As in I'm lightheaded EVERY SINGLE TIME I stand up. I've had clear nailpolish on so I can tell that my nail beds have been blue all week. Ick. Still depressed as fuck and crying at every single little thing.

At least the random chestpain&dizziness spells seem to have stopped. They were really fuckign annoying.

My results have been confirmed for exams. B- for Asia 101 (up from an unconfirmed C) A- for Modern Japanese film (Unconfirmed B+) and an E for Modern Japanese fiction. I just want to get the hell out of University so I think I'll go for the Aegrotat pass (No grade) rather than the special exam option. I can't concentrate for shit on these meds right now.

'Scuse me. Gonna have a little cry. this is sodding RIDICULOUS.

I really need to start looking for another job NOW, rather than waiting until closer to the end of the year. I saw today the a cafe near my house needs a cleaner, 0630-0900 Monday-Friday. That could work. Maybe. I could certainly use the extra cash. I'm in dire need of new socks and bras that aren't falling apart.

Speaking of which, there is a Swaparamarama at the Pole Studio tomorrow. Yay new clothes! Yay, trying on clothes -.-

I'd better go do the dishes and hunt up my CV. Its probably fossilized somewhere on my portable hard drive. No matter how long you're planning on staying in your job you should ALWAYS update your CV every year. Mine's so old it doesn't even have my Lotto qualification in it! That was 4 bloody years ago D:

Hope you have a good weekend <3

~Peri