Photos of NZ

Ok, I took photos staring in Picton, working through Wellington, and heading back down. I didn't take any from Timaru on south to Dunedin, because it started to rain and I packed my camera away where it wouldn't get wet. I can go up there on a day trip at some point :)

Places like Kaikoura, Blenhim, Moeraki etc have a lot more pics online, so I focused on places that just made me go 'Hey! Pretty!'

We couldn't take cameras into the concert. We were in the mosh pit, so it would have gotten broken anyway XD

SO. North on down. . .

Titahi Bay, Wellington
We went here on a random wander around on Wednesday. I couldn't believe how warm the water was compared to home!



Coming into Wellington Harbour on the Interislander ferry, Tuesday night. On the night of the concert we had no place to stay, so we slept in Talia's car in the pay&display car park at the Wellington Interislander terminal. Our original accommodation fell through after everything in town had booked out >:(


The sounds at the top of the South Island, from the ferry heading out of Picton. Two dolphins swam with us for a out of harbour at Picton. It was a foggy crossing both up and back, so I slept a bit on the ferry.



A random shot of sunny Picton


The Malborough Country. A lot of wine comes from this area. It's been so dry the last decade or so most areas are under a total fireban. Lots of lovely twisty roads!



Cows and cabbage trees. Somewhere between Picton and Kaikoura.


This is what I live for


Harakeke (Flaxbushes) on the Kaikoura coastline.


The Kaikoura Coastline. 80km/hr speed limit. VERY twisty. If you are a nervy driver, take your time and pull over so you don't get stressed by dipshits tailgaiting you.


Ohau Point Seal colony. New Zealand Fur Seals!! :D Seal warning signs on the road for the 4km around the colony.



The bebbeh sneals at the seal colony *Squeals*


The cookie time factory, in Christchurch


The Cantabury plains. Big flat boring straight roags from Christchurch to Timaru. D: Although, in places you can look one way and see the Souther Alps, turn 180* and see the Pacific Ocean, so they aren't ALL bad. . .




It's appalling to see the amount of irrigation machinery running to keep the dairy industry going along the plains, and then to ride over the massive bridges that span dried-up riverbeds.

So there you go! I'm gonna go pass out for a while. FFF starts in 1 hour 47mins for me, so I'd better work out my plan of attack.

I hope you enjoyed this. I wish I'd stopped to take more photos, but let's face it. Once you start on a ride, it's bloody hard to convince yourself to pull over and stop ^.^

Love you, have a great night!

~Peri

I'm Baaaaaaack!

Made it back into Dunedin today and passed the Railway station at 3:15pm.

I had to pack my camera away just out of Timaru when it started raining >.< Photos will be up tomorrow or Monday my time, whichever happens first <3 There aren't many. Lol there was more catching up than photo taking going on XD I have so many, many stories to tell. Cops, the Ulysses Club, Mall Crawling, Beaches and Stingrays (I wasn't stung. We were having a Gelato on the wharf in Wellington watching the ducks when a 1m (3.1ft?) wide 'ray just went skimming past. Magic) The concert was so many kinds of EPIC. The Checks opened and sucked BALLS, Shihad came on and rocked my world. Then ACDC played and blew me into space. I had so much fun on this trip it hurt. I will leave you with a video of Shihad playing Home Again at the Big Day Out. They played this on Thursday, and it was magic. Lol, between screaming my head off and the joints being passed around our section of the mosh pit my voice is totally wrecked. Tomorrow night begins my mission to catch up on your blogs. Love you and missed you so very, very much. Have a wonderful day. I send you packages of sunshine and good feelings, wrapped up in Shihad's Music. ~Peri

Travel Plans

I am once again stealing S&P's internet.

I'm bribing S with whiskey, company and access to pot, since she just miscarried at 5 months or so. I have no words for how much it hurts me to see her hurt so much.

I leave Dunedin on Monday morning, overnight in Christchurch before heading up to Picton and hopping on the InterIslander ferry with my motorbike on Tuesday night.

Recover day Wednesday, concert Thursday night and on the ferry again first thing Friday morning to repeat my 2-stage journey home and arrive home Saturday shattered and much more adventured than I am now. Sunday=back to work and posting travel photos in the morning.

Monday=sit down with EPIC WHOPPING GREAT TANK of tea and catching up on your blogs. I feel so rude posting and not reading.

I have maintained steady on 58.6kg this week, despite 3 days of nothing but liquids and LOTS of efforst of hauling and unpacking and cleaning. (The landlords couldn't clean for SHIT!) Ugh, I need to brave some of that herbal laxitive. I wimped out and got Metamucil tablets coz the smell of the laxie makes me want to ry and gag and curl up in the corner and cry.

The taste is so. Much. Worse.

I guess that marks an achieved in the maintenance plan. I will plot the next phase whilst skimming along the Canterbury Plains on Saturday.

Fat Free February, anyone? I miss SSPO. Lets have the Triple-F.

Much love from Down Under,

~Peri

Echo . . . Echo. . . . Echo. . . . .

Awww you guys make a feel so loved!

I'm heading up to Welly (Wellington) on Sunday. . . Still don't have ferry tickets yet, as Talia STILL HASN'T TEXTED ME BACK!!!

There will be lots of photos up when I get back. L got the internet sorted, it should be up Monday night. . . when I'm not here. . .

There are lots of amusing stories to tell, which will doubtless be topped by more interesting ones when I am able to post with more regularity *Eyeroll*

Love you and miss you all!!

~Peri

I'm Not Dead

We just don't have Internet at the new flat yet

I miss you all, I will have a lot of catching up to do when we FINALLY get stuff sorted.

Man, Blogger withdrawal sucks! XD

Love,

~Peri

Not Yay

I am so unbelievable unhappy and disgusted with myself right now.

Last night I was drunk and happy and being told my music collection=Automatic Win At Life.

Had an amazing night with Miles, and he shouted breakfast. (His favourite cappuccino flavoured muffins) I helped him work on scraping back and painting his house in return.

No, the unhappy and disgusting bit comes later.

2 hour ago, in fact.

In mu hungover and exhausted state I decided to get pizza I CAN'T FUCKING AFFORD for tea. Why? I was craving THAT SPECIFIC FUCKING PIZZA and nothing else would satisfy.

I had to order TWO of the fucking things to make delivery charge. SO, $28 of pizza. I scoffed one, and now the other one is in the fridge sitting like a fat greasy nasty waste of money.

Oh god I wan to crawl into a corner and die. I want to shove my fingers down my throat until I see blood. I want to rip my disgusting entrails from my body. I want to run until I drop, get up and run again. I want to die. All over fucking pizza.

Tomorrow is an epic house-moving mission of massive proportions. How little food can I get away with? How can I get my flatmate to pay me $10 for that pizza so I at least recoup SOMETHING from this disaster of an evening?!

I'm gonna go bawl my eyes out at the calorie total FitDay shows me, then put on my exercise pants.

Goddamn pizza.

FUCK YOU PIZZA

~Peri

Yay!

I have just been told I win at life.

Tonight is good.

I'm drunk.

Can you tell?

Hamstrung By Pizza And Candy

Oh god, yesterday was full of horrors.

At the movies, there was candy. I was such a DUMBASS!! I didn't even think that in a darkened theatre NO-ONE can see if you don't eat. All you need to do is rustle in the bag every now and then, and put your hand to your mouth, as if you are. Instead I mindlessly hand-to-mouthed 400 grams of fscking bulk bin candy. Jelly beans and jaffas and pebbles and pink smokers.

Oh holy fuck.

It gets WORSE.

There was pizza for tea. Dominos Double Bacon Cheezeburger pizza, to be precise.

As usual, my fat piggy self scarfs THE WHOLE BLOODY PUZZA.

So much for the cardio burning over 500cal yesterday morning.

I've been back up to 59kg again. I'm about to tear my hair out in frustration. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, HUH? WHAT?!? Oh I know what. Amputate something. That should help *Snarky face*

Today I have had a cup of coffee and 3 pieces of Miles's chocolate-coated hokey pokey that I couldn't politely refuse after spending 12 hours in his bead, alternately sleeping and getting him all sweaty.

An hour ago I had 1 serve of cold baked beans to stave off a potential binge that would, and could, have been very very nasty. It was nasty, it filled me up, and now the thought of eating anything else gives me the shaking terrors.

One piece of good news: I finally got off my ass and booked my restricted lisence test. 9am Monday Morning I am going to the VTNZ to attempt to obtain furthur freedom on the road. I will be able to do over 70km/hr on the open road, drive from 5am to 10pm, and LOSE the sodding L-Plate! *Does joy dance*

There have been assorted financial dramas which were sorted, and I'm now back in the fast lane. FUCK YOU BANK!! How DARE you let me go into an overdraft that I DON'T HAVE and THEN charge me a line-of-credit fee and interest on said credit when I did not agree to it in the first place?!

Tossers.

Tomorrow morning is gym time. I'm home alone most of tonight so I should crank some music and pushpushpush the exercise.

Love you skinny pretty people.

~Peri

*Squeals* Meh First Hatemail!

Awww, first off I'd like to say thankyou to Amir, for posting my first hatemail on my last post. I have no idea who you are, but you amuse the hell out of me.

Secondly, I'd like to question your motives.

"Sending hatred over the interwebz, to people you don't know, is awful, and cruel."

Ahhh, I do so love the smell of hypocrisy in the evening. It's stench overrides that of the bad tobacco my flatmates smoke. I don't know you, but you can read this blog and find out all about my last few months of mental illness and the suchlike and assuredly know a bit about me.

So why are you sending ME hatred?

Who the hell ARE you?!

Who was I being nasty to? Besides someone (Like you) who pisses me off? Please give a little background before wading in and slinging shit around.





Alright, that's enough of that.





This morning I had a memory blank, and fully forgot if I'd taken my meds or not. L came in as I was tearing my room apart in a panic, trying to find out if:

a)Cat had knocked them under the bed while playing with his cat toy
b)I'd taken them and forgotten
c)Cat had eaten them by accident 0.0

Kitty was fine (My arm's aren't so much anymore. He didn't appreciate having me try to look down his throat) the meds were nowhere to be seen, so in a fit of insanity I took another dose in case they'd been knocked under my dresser. From the way I've been feeling today, I've most likely double-dosed by accident.

Man, tomorrow's gonna suck! Now I can see why people get addicted to drugs, if it makes them feel this good! Shame about the comedown, though XD

The memory blank worries me. I have to go to the doctor again, even though last time I was blanking out and losing great whopping chunks of time they could find no reason for it!! I was so damn close to taking all the fucking pills I could find so I didn't have to go through this shit again. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY HEAD?!

I cannot rely on my flatmates for help. I was hoping L could be trusted with helping me with my WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan), but she is a friend who talks instead of listens. Good to chat with over coffee about the meaning of life, but not good with helping you stay sane. Joy.

Flat move on Saturday. This week is shaping up to be a mission of epic proportions.

Have an awesome night!

~Peri

Pondering, My Dear Ponderosa; Pondering.

I want to post, but I have nothing substantial to write about.

A traffic accident between anger, creativity, inertia and desire in my brain. A multi-car pileup, if you will. Messy and frustrating.

Staying up past midnight insane and manic writing silly fiction about pixel ponies, washed down with 9 hours of working doesn't make for an interesting tell, by any stretch of the imagination.

I can write again, or I could last night, anyway. That is amazing. That particular piece of pixel pony prose has been put off for nearly a year. Big things this way come.

(Speaking of big things. . .)

The scales are NOT my friend. I'm torn between doing nothing but liquids until Parental Dinner Time tomorrow night, or eating and going to the gym for a cardio day and leaving liquids to Tuesday.

Thinking like this makes me feel sick. Why why why why WHY?!?

WHY??

The eternally unanswered question, asked of the mute by the deaf.

Even if the ask-ee has the words to answer, the ask-er hasn't the ears to hear them.

~Peri

Zzzzzzz*Short* Wuh?

I am very tired and not at all coherent at the moment. Be aware: Random topic changes ahead.

Miles stayed last night ^.^ 'Nuff said. I love snuggling up to that guy.

My kitty is licking his chops and chasing a fly around the floor. He has already damaged it's wings enough so that is is unable to fly. He created a Walk. A Walk that will soon go from plaything to snack. You'd think I never feed the little bastard. It's a lie. He eats better than I do!

I hurt. Nothing new. A combination of killer weights workout focusing on shoulders and thighs and a very physical job.

The business of staying present is getting easier. I am amazed at how much of my life I live cruising around in a dreamland. You miss so much. This is only chapter one. Dusting the cobwebs off the door. Lets see where I am in a few months. I am aiming for one chapter every month, two months if there is a lot of work to be done. (I'm talking about working through Evolutionary Witchcraft, one of my new years goals. Yeah, I'm a filthy pagan. STFU and death with it)

I'm contemplating getting some dinner or just waiting for my hair to dry and going to sleep. This says 'Yes, have dinner.' This says 'No dinner for you, fat whore.' I may compromise. I am so cold I will never get the bed warm enough to fall sleep at this rate.

Decisions, decisions.

Compromise it is. Healthy food. Not the ice-cream rampage my body craves. Fruit bowl here I come!

~Peri

RambleSaur!

I have been fiercely productive today. Decimated my To-Do list, transferred registration money into my saving so I can't spend it over the weekend. The scales say I'm steady at 58.2kg! Woot! I went to the gym and even started writing fiction again, believe it or not!

I have a bag of clothes I don't wear any more that needs a damn clothing donation bin to hide in, but I'm buggered if I know where to find one in this part of town! The typical midsummer weather of thunderstorms and hail has curtailed my plans for walking around until I find one. It's just not fun to do in the pissing rain.

Avatar made me do a lot of thinking, and most of it on a fairly mystical bent that I am uncomfortable posting about until I fully get my head around it. Lol, I'm still thinking really, and have nothing much to report. (Funny that)

Love you all,

~Peri

Fucking WOAH There!

Today has been a mixed bag of interesting.

I went to visit Nana at her rest home today, and ran into Mum, who was just leaving. She honestly seems to want to keep in touch with me. Funny, but the feeling isn't all that mutual, Mater Dearest. She won't shut up about my weight! So what if I'm finally looking as thin as she used to?! WHO CARES?!?

. . . Jealous, much?

I hate being so fucking irrational, yet I can't help but feel a little upset over this. I'm the fucking third wheel in this flat.

I thought L had arranged to do a shared dinner with me. I was gonna cook if she grabbed some spuds (potatoes) and a instant-meal mix. (About $4-5) I was going to supply the meat ($6-8) and cooking effort. Turns out she and D are having frozen pizzas now. I don't mind, since I'm not planning to eat anything other than some cashews and salad mix if I do eat, but I'm a bit pissed at how easily I was brushed aside for the more expedient option.

Bloody stoners. There goes my good mood.

I fucking hope to god that all this sleeping I've FINALLY been able to do isn't heralding a downswing into the rabbit hole. I've been soaring high, doing crazy loops with the hawks and fantails hrough the clear blue skies over the field. Now I'm lower, skimming the tops of the grass and bouncing in to land crazy and up-ended on the hill.

Oh fuck this. Fuck you brain. Fuck you you messed up insane piece of shit. More sodding holes than a piece of swiss that's met a cheese grater. Mushier than mashed potatoes in a thunderstorm. I don't want this. I don't want to be up again and down again and all over the goddamn map every other day. I just want to be normal. NORMAL. Even for one measly little day. I just want to know what it's like.

Bloody hell.

I wonder if my flatmates have any idea how much I envy them? I go from flying high after a movie on adrenaline and caffeine, to crashed on my bedroom floor bawling my eyes out and unable to move in the space of 15 seconds (I timed it)

Avatar was fucking AWESOME. I'll consider my reaction and what it made me think about and post it for you tomorrow.

Right now some drunk (male) cuntsacks are screaming abuse at each other in the street outside my window. Why do I want to go out there with a machete and do a little genepool maintenance? Oh! I can hear some chicks joining in now! . . . *Timelapse*. . . OK, cops have 2-3 cars on the ground now, rounding up some of the twits. I saw one take off down towards the one-way and dobbed him in to the cops out front. He slipped and fell HARD. I hope he lost some teeth.

Yes. I'm a misanthropic bitch.

If my bike is damaged there will be HELL to pay.

Yeah, sorry, I'm all over the place tonight.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I'M SUF-FOCA-TING;
PUT ME OUT OF MY MIS-ER-Y!!!
PUT ME OUT OF MY MIS-ER-Y!!!
PUT ME OUT OF MY

PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCK-ING MIS-ER-Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(LOVE the 10-11sec scream there)

~Peri

BORED Coz I Don't WANNA

Grrr I want her body! I want to be slim and sporty and asexual again. *Sigh* If not, slim and sporty would do. Seriously, big tits are impractical for anything other than getting guys to buy you drinks. (Boob size makes no difference for breast feeding, apparently)

I'm home alone with nothing to do (I'm putting off doing things I have to because I don't want to do them) and a case of the sads. I think this nice happy streak I've been on is fading again, since I've been able to sleep properly again and I'm getting the blues in the afternoon. (Or is it just because I haven't eaten in a while?) Ugh, who knows? Certainly NOT the bloody doctor!

I found Prozac Nation at a second hand bookstore when I was out with Miles today. It's been heavy going so far. Lol I think anything you identify closely with is. Takes it out of you in sheer emotional energy.

I went through the hours-long drama of applying for my student loan so I can afford to study again this year. Wheee! It hasn't even started yet and I just want it to be OVER. I want to be holding my degree in my grubby mitts by the year I turn 26. Don't reayy care what major at this point. Preferably NOT a plain BA.

Urf, I'm gonna go boil the jug. Have a lovely day pretty people! <3

~Peri

Cringefest

I STILL have the sads, so I'm back here on blogger instead of moping in the corner.

Should be sleeping. Fuck that.

Here is something I wrote a few months ago when I was trying to work out exactly what was going on with Miles. (Why is it when I get tired and mopey I come online and share shitty emo poetry? Why do I even write that crap in the first place?)


Explain this to me, would you?
While I gather the shards of my mind.
Sanity breaks and scatters so easily,
You see.
You see?
I want to gather them up and give them
To you.
You can hold them and keep them safe.
I would give you something better,
A heart is more normal,
Yes?
Yes.
But I don't know where to find it,
so I cannot give it.
Have my rationality instead.
A Flawed,
Damaged
And Unworthy gift.


Oh god, emo cringefest. I'm gonna take some twink (whiteout, correction fluid) to it very very soon. (It's written in pen in my scribble book) The main idea is there, however.

Fuck, sleep time. More fun tomorrow, I promise.

~Emo Peri

41!? :O

I have no words, of profane or proper English to describe my reaction to 41 beautiful followers.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooah!

Shocked, awed and humbled. Surely there are more interesting things to do with your time than read my limping brain-vomit! :p Shit, I'm gonna have to be more interesting. Um, um. . .

BANANAS!!!

Did that work? o.O Hurrrrrrg.

I suddenly had a random attack of the sads, so I came online to read your blogs. Feeling less alone helps. I'm all by myself in this big scary empty flat with random strangers walking past outside laughing loudly. (I'm having a bad hair day. SOD OFF YOU BLOODY HYENAS!!)

I told the Boy about Miles asking me out, and he planted a nagging seed of doubt in my mind by mentioning his male flatmate doesn't trust Miles around his GF. NOW I'm wondering if this guy who can have anyone he wants will stay faithful during his plans to travel this year (He wants to work on a cruise ship), or if Boy's flatmate is being a jealous immature prick and I'm being paranoid.

Oh god do I hope I'm just being paranoid!

Fuck, I must get skinny and hot and give him such amazing head that nobody else compares.

58.2kg today. Fuck off and stay off water weight. Tomorrow I hie myself to the gym to tone and train.

Today I put a GINORMOUS to-do list on my whiteboard and started ploughing through, just because I got sick of looking at it about 45 second after putting it up there.

That, and rubbing stuff of whiteboards is FUN! :D Fun=Motivation=Got stuff DONE!!

I love you, have a good night.

~Peri

Music and Travel Photos.

I'm listening to the album Hook Me Up by The Veronicas. I cannot recommend this album enough. Two beautiful, skinny Aussie (Australian) sisters cranking out addictive poppy beats. I can't say much for their singing voices, but they are more than adequate for the kind of music they make. The definitely have an interesting sound, but they should stay AWAY from the high notes that make them squeal and crack like 13 year old boys *Shudder*

Untouched is on my Thinspo playlist. Yeah, I have one. It kinds sickens me, but I can't bring myself to delete it. Several of the songs from this album are also on my cardio playlist. I'm gonna need to get some song suggestions from you guys for that soon :p I'm gonna get sick of my current batch fast.

Ok, here are my travel photos for you guys. I couldn't work out how to shrink them without making them all munted, so you'll have to resort to right-click&open image in new tab to see the full pic -.-;

Here is some of the native bush and pine forest on the hills around the camping ground, and some exotics in the foreground with some of the punters' cars. There were about 300-400 people there for New Years and Hogmanay


Looking into Whare Flat, lots of import trees


My pretty Marauder outside the tent on New Year's day. It got to the mid-30s. (Celsius) HOT!!!


I have a whole new level of respect for and terror of gravel roads. They'd just gravelled it recently, so it was a rather hairy drive D':


A bridge.


Various trees and sunshine :p


Some pine forestry I drove through on the way home


Well, that's it for now. I was 59.1kg this morning, but there is muchly work to be done to get rid of the fat that snuck in under Irma's bloating and any water weight caused by the incredibly high levels of salt in the shitty food I've been eating lately. *shudders* MUST get back to 58!

Love you, have a good night!

~Peri

I Love You Guys

SBB, Salix, Minaralou, thankyou from the bottom of my heart for your lovely rational words that have stopped me pulling my hair out and climbing the walls. Patience is needed, in this as in all things.

Fuck you irrational brain.

Fuck you pizza.

Neither of you will beat me.

Photos tomorrow, I promise. I need to work out how to get HTML to resize all my pics automatically, since they are too blasted wide for this format. I REFUSE to change the format!

I love you

~Peri

Petrified By Pizza

Dear Hipbones,

Please don't desert me.

Taste of acid in my throat, sweat marks spreading, carpet burn on my arm from slipping during a side bridge.

Can't stop, mustn't give up.

L&D have declared a pizza for tea night for the whole flat. Must appear enthusiastic. Must not cry in despair.

Are they trying to make me fat like them? Is this to make up for not going on pot-fuelled munchie binges? I'm the skinniest chick in the flat, but I feel like the fattest.

I'm terrified this pizza will instantly balloon me up to 85kg. I don't want to be a hideous bloated monster when Miles gets back from the Folk Festival.

I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK OVER 60KG.

~Peri

Happy New Year?

Oh holy shit, I fully didn't know this when I chose my blogger alias. Freaky! I just want to be good. I want to be whole. I don't want to be broken and smelly and nasty and dark on the inside any more. I don't want to be a nice person, I want to be a good person, by my own definition of good.

Yesterday I worked 8.5 hours with 3 of the people at work who drive me dotty starting in the last half of my shift and as usual driving me up the wall in no time flat. (For future reference, the 4 vertically challenged coworkers who irritate me no end will be referred to as TweedleDee, TweedleDum, TweedleRum, and TweedleEvil) So yeah, that was fun. I asked TweedleRum 4 times to grab the tray of ham in the chiller and throw it in the cabinet, since we were out. All 4 times she was standing there with her hands in her pockets, staring into space. All 4 times she found something ELSE to do, which wasn't as labour intensive as carrying a tray 8m. Hmmm, so to get her to do something, I should ask her to do something much more difficult? XD

I went out to the Folk Festival after work, and saw my first Hogmanay Barn Dance. I would have joined in, but it was a complete and utter shambles >.< Next time. I didn't drink much. I was a fatty lardpants and got Maccas (Yeah, McDonalds) after work :'(. I didn't eat anything between that and 11am today but 6 banana lollies (Candy? Sweets?) from a Pick'n'Mix bag and some organic dark chocolate (140cal a serve). I was sitting at the table last night, cold and hungry and so tired I couldn't even shiver watching my pregnant mate eating quiche and carrot cake. God, it smelled wonderful! I felt so awful and fat. Sitting at the table, cold and miserable, head down on the wood, staring at the dust and rocks on the ground. Miles was taking part in the Barn Dancing (an Irish one, not my cup of tea) and my friends were all talking a mile a minute over my drooping head. A realisation then penetrated my exhausted brain. I don't want to live to see another New Year's Eve. I couldn't take it any more. So fucking tired, so fucked up inside. I was trying to work out how long I though I could stand to make it through the year when Miles came back from dancing and demanded more of A's quite excellent homebrew mead. He then proceeded, while tanked to the gills, to open his mouth and stun me. (Oooooooooooh Minaralou you're gonna LOVE this!)

"My life's all up in the air at the moment, and I don't even know if I'm going to be in the city next year, but will you go out with me?"

(Or something to the gist of that.)

All I could do was nod frantically, like a little nodding-dog ornament on speed, coz if I'd opened my mouth I would have cried.

So, now I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who held my hand across the tent until our arms were sore and cold and tired. A boyfriend who let me drink his entire mug of water even though he was hungover and I wasn't and it was a fucking long way to the taps. A boyfriend I don't deserve.

I am a monster. A porker. A disgusting diseased blight on the world. An unworthy lump of human flesh. Inside I am small and nasty and horrible. Nobody would want to know me if they could see inside me. Nobody SHOULD want to know me. Every day I consume resources without providing a worthy return to the world. A parasite, all consumption and no production.

Fuck this shit. Time to make some fucking changes. Obviously Miles would prefer it if I were alive. I'd better sort my shit out so I am no longer wasting oxygen.

Goals for the year:
[ ] Gym at least twice a week unless ill
[ ] Work through Evolutionary Witchcraft by T.Thorn Coyle
[ ] Go to most lectures, all tutes and summarise my notes at the end of each week
[ ] Try to be honest and upfront with everyone.

I'll upload some photos of the glorious weather and my ride home tomorrow afternoon. Right now I need to go cover my bike up and exercise.

Happy New Year pretty people

~Peri