Yes it's fucking Beltane down here.
Because of Miles I didn't go to bed until midnight after work on Sunday.
Got up at 5am. Clocked in at 0705, worked putting up Christmas displays until 1540 when I started crying and saying "I just want to sleep, make it stop please make it stop I just want to sleep"
Thank gods none of the customers saw.
They sent me home, when Storeroom Manager had said I was there until we were done. I think he didn't realise just how much of a mess the Christmas stock pallets were in. Bits here, there and everywhere, and we didn't even get enough shelving units to put shit on until after 10am.
They had two people doing a job it would have taken 4 people 8 hours to complete.
Noms 'R' Us has a More Morons in Management policy. (It's generally the Upper Management, and not at the departmental level.)
I'm getting 1st-27th November off. The Deli 2IC (Stress Bunny) has resigned and Jaq is leaving for Oz for a gap year in about 7 weeks so there will be lots of lovely shifts going.
Lets get this clear now:
THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WANT THE 2IC JOB.
The hours: Fuck yes! The job: Hell NO!
I'm still going to be careful with my extra hours money and put it in savings in case I have a lean week before I sign a shiny new contract with an extra 16 hours *touch wood*
In other news I learned how to do colourwork (knitting) and I'm pissed that I misread the label on a can of energy drink. I real '48cal' when it's 48cal/100ml for a 500ml can.
FUCK. ME.
I'm using food as an aesthetic again. When I'm binging I don't feel like crap, all there is is food and flavour and texture and interest. I need to treat and nurture myself with something other than food. I need to get over the idea of controlling food intake=deprivation. My work pants don't stay zipped up anymore. They've gone from being nicely loose to having the zip undo itself under the strain.
NaNoWriMo starts in 59mins, but I'm planning on going to bed. I'm so tired that I have the shakes and poured the hot water over my hand instead of in the mug for a cup of tea. I'd forgotten about it for a while, so it wasn't too hot. Cold water took care of it, just feels a bit prickly.
Bring on November and NaNo and weightloss.
October was a fucking bitch. I miss the times of SSPO, and not this nonstop-nom-tober shitfest.
SAN=Skinny Ass November.
Totally going to use this holiday time to catch up on about a month of missed blogs. Flick me a quick update so I don't panic at old news, ok?
~Peri
Monday, 31 October 2011
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
67.7kg. Fuck This Shit
Well, things have certainly been interesting.
I panicked and had a breakdown in the exam last Thursday. Miles kept me company on Thursday night so I didn't go slash-happy on myself or spend my savings on enough paracetamol to fuck myself up.
He gave me a copy of Black Swan to celebrate exams being over and he gave me my birthday present early.
Tickets to the BOLSHOI BALLET ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sweet holy fuck, talk about the inspiration. Pity he's still feeding me up on junk every chance he gets.
Jaq spent last week in the hospital because she started having seizures and they thought it was epilepsy. They have cleared her of that, thinking it may have been caused by the amount of stress she's been under lately making her brain force her body to relax in any way possible.
I got a doctor certificate on Friday and had me prescription upped. I'm supposed to have a blood test this week to see how my liver is taking it, but I don't know if I'll have time.
Over the last four days I've gone from complete uncertainty about my immediate future to moderate certainty to complete uncertainty again.
Saturday I was being told I could have Jaq's Mondays and Tuesdays for 'A while' and could only get half my original holidays.
Sunday she told me she's not coming back to work at all and is fucking off to Australia for a gap year, so I don't need to job hunt.
Monday I get told she's back as of next week, so I will be having my holidays but not having enough work to make rent come December.
I'm begging three departments for hours, I've looked at about 800 jobs and found two I could possibly apply for.
Today before work I went down to Uni to try to hand in the medical certificate. I thought I had another day, but they take it by CALENDAR days. Assholes, there was a weekend AND public holiday there that meant I couldn't make it in.
I went down there with plenty of time before work. There was ONE lady on with a big line, so by the time I got my form I had 15mins to clock in time. They clsoed at 5, I finished work at 7. My boss let me run back down to Uni during my half hour break to hand it back in.
Fully freaking out, I shit you not. I left uni and clocked in to work bawling my eyes out. I was so close to not even showing up today.
I managed to score an extra shift this Friday as well, and have a phone interview to hopefully work at the polls on Election Day in November.
I had a big freak out yesteerday because my $400 leather motorcycle pants no longer stay closed.
They bust open when I sit on my bike.
Miles freaks right the fuck out when I say I need to lose weight. Everything I do he undoes with fucking junk food and takeaways. It's so not cool. He has the typical muscly man's metabolism, and can get away with massive takeaway feeds several nights a week. Hell, massive quantities of substandard food is the only think that can fill his stomach!
I weighed myself this morning.
67.7kg
I haven't been this fat since a month before I started this blog.
At that point in time I had been binge eating and comfort eating because my relationship with The Boy had turned toxic.
Now I'm stuck at this weight because my Boyfriend is ACTIVELY TRYING to make me gain weight.
The heavier I get, the more I hate myself, the less sex we have. I wonder if he's noticed the connection yet?
His solution is to go op-shopping for 'fat clothes'. I refuse to waste money new clothes because I'm too fat to fit into what I have. I had just BEEN clothes shopping before I started gaining all this weight!
I've gained 10kg in under a year. My clothes don't fit. I may not even have my degree. I don't have enough hours at work. I may not even have a place to live in two months. I may not be able to keep my motorbike on the road. I may not be able to afford to feed my cat (Who is currently destroying my stuff)
I'd better go book the gym for tonight. I've already said no to a shift today because I only own ONE work uniform and it's filthy with 4 days of meat and fat splatter from Deli. Better do some washing too.
~Peri
I panicked and had a breakdown in the exam last Thursday. Miles kept me company on Thursday night so I didn't go slash-happy on myself or spend my savings on enough paracetamol to fuck myself up.
He gave me a copy of Black Swan to celebrate exams being over and he gave me my birthday present early.
Tickets to the BOLSHOI BALLET ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sweet holy fuck, talk about the inspiration. Pity he's still feeding me up on junk every chance he gets.
Jaq spent last week in the hospital because she started having seizures and they thought it was epilepsy. They have cleared her of that, thinking it may have been caused by the amount of stress she's been under lately making her brain force her body to relax in any way possible.
I got a doctor certificate on Friday and had me prescription upped. I'm supposed to have a blood test this week to see how my liver is taking it, but I don't know if I'll have time.
Over the last four days I've gone from complete uncertainty about my immediate future to moderate certainty to complete uncertainty again.
Saturday I was being told I could have Jaq's Mondays and Tuesdays for 'A while' and could only get half my original holidays.
Sunday she told me she's not coming back to work at all and is fucking off to Australia for a gap year, so I don't need to job hunt.
Monday I get told she's back as of next week, so I will be having my holidays but not having enough work to make rent come December.
I'm begging three departments for hours, I've looked at about 800 jobs and found two I could possibly apply for.
Today before work I went down to Uni to try to hand in the medical certificate. I thought I had another day, but they take it by CALENDAR days. Assholes, there was a weekend AND public holiday there that meant I couldn't make it in.
I went down there with plenty of time before work. There was ONE lady on with a big line, so by the time I got my form I had 15mins to clock in time. They clsoed at 5, I finished work at 7. My boss let me run back down to Uni during my half hour break to hand it back in.
Fully freaking out, I shit you not. I left uni and clocked in to work bawling my eyes out. I was so close to not even showing up today.
I managed to score an extra shift this Friday as well, and have a phone interview to hopefully work at the polls on Election Day in November.
I had a big freak out yesteerday because my $400 leather motorcycle pants no longer stay closed.
They bust open when I sit on my bike.
Miles freaks right the fuck out when I say I need to lose weight. Everything I do he undoes with fucking junk food and takeaways. It's so not cool. He has the typical muscly man's metabolism, and can get away with massive takeaway feeds several nights a week. Hell, massive quantities of substandard food is the only think that can fill his stomach!
I weighed myself this morning.
67.7kg
I haven't been this fat since a month before I started this blog.
At that point in time I had been binge eating and comfort eating because my relationship with The Boy had turned toxic.
Now I'm stuck at this weight because my Boyfriend is ACTIVELY TRYING to make me gain weight.
The heavier I get, the more I hate myself, the less sex we have. I wonder if he's noticed the connection yet?
His solution is to go op-shopping for 'fat clothes'. I refuse to waste money new clothes because I'm too fat to fit into what I have. I had just BEEN clothes shopping before I started gaining all this weight!
I've gained 10kg in under a year. My clothes don't fit. I may not even have my degree. I don't have enough hours at work. I may not even have a place to live in two months. I may not be able to keep my motorbike on the road. I may not be able to afford to feed my cat (Who is currently destroying my stuff)
I'd better go book the gym for tonight. I've already said no to a shift today because I only own ONE work uniform and it's filthy with 4 days of meat and fat splatter from Deli. Better do some washing too.
~Peri
Thursday, 20 October 2011
You're Fucking KIDDING Me, Right?
Sadistic motherfuckers have put my exam in RICHARDSON.
The building is a sin against architecture! I mean sure, it won an award in the 1970s. But we all know everyone worth his salt spent the 70s in a haze of pot and LSD!
Several of the rooms listed as being in Richardson are also NOT in the Richardson building at all. They are in Te Pakaori, (I'll fix the spelling) which is an unattached building on the ground floor housing Te Tumu
I guess it could be worse. I could be sitting it in Archway.
For those who have never been to the University of Otago, let me fill you in.
The Archway Lecture Theatres bend space and time. Time moves roughly 30% slower inside this building than outside it. As for the space-bending, this can be proven by a simply practical experiment.
Method:
Pick any one of the outside doors.
Enter through this door.
Walk STRAIGHT AHEAD until you reach another external door.
Turn around, return the way you came.
There is about a 50% chance of exiting the building through the door you entered it by. . .
Gods forbid you EVER need to piss when you have a lecture in Archway. The toilets are bloody impossibly to find! You should always make a pitstop in Quad, Commerce or the Link buildings before heading to a lecture or exam in Archway.
Please excuse me, I need to go panic a bit and re-read my noted.
~Peri
The building is a sin against architecture! I mean sure, it won an award in the 1970s. But we all know everyone worth his salt spent the 70s in a haze of pot and LSD!
Several of the rooms listed as being in Richardson are also NOT in the Richardson building at all. They are in Te Pakaori, (I'll fix the spelling) which is an unattached building on the ground floor housing Te Tumu
I guess it could be worse. I could be sitting it in Archway.
For those who have never been to the University of Otago, let me fill you in.
The Archway Lecture Theatres bend space and time. Time moves roughly 30% slower inside this building than outside it. As for the space-bending, this can be proven by a simply practical experiment.
Method:
Pick any one of the outside doors.
Enter through this door.
Walk STRAIGHT AHEAD until you reach another external door.
Turn around, return the way you came.
There is about a 50% chance of exiting the building through the door you entered it by. . .
Gods forbid you EVER need to piss when you have a lecture in Archway. The toilets are bloody impossibly to find! You should always make a pitstop in Quad, Commerce or the Link buildings before heading to a lecture or exam in Archway.
Please excuse me, I need to go panic a bit and re-read my noted.
~Peri
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
You Must Watch This
Just started following this guy's channel a few days ago, and he has some DAMN FINE points.
DO NOT LET OTHERS DEFINE YOU.
You allow them to do that and you allow others to put their own limits on you.
You pick your own goddamn lables. Chose your OWN limits, strengths and abilities. Don't let anyone else tell you how high or far you should fly.
Flap your OWN wings and find out yourself.
~Peri
DO NOT LET OTHERS DEFINE YOU.
You allow them to do that and you allow others to put their own limits on you.
You pick your own goddamn lables. Chose your OWN limits, strengths and abilities. Don't let anyone else tell you how high or far you should fly.
Flap your OWN wings and find out yourself.
~Peri
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Huh
When someone else says it, I want to say FUCK YOU!
Isn't that weird? I can sit here and bawl and tell myself I'm too stupid to cram all these kanji in two days (I will admit that I've been a total slack cunt this semester), but as soon as someone ELSE tries to call me a dumb bitch, I tell them to STFU.
So SHUT THE FUCK UP GLaDOS!
Lol, I should call the depression GLaDOS.
And now for something completely different:
Back to study now.
~Peri
Isn't that weird? I can sit here and bawl and tell myself I'm too stupid to cram all these kanji in two days (I will admit that I've been a total slack cunt this semester), but as soon as someone ELSE tries to call me a dumb bitch, I tell them to STFU.
So SHUT THE FUCK UP GLaDOS!
Lol, I should call the depression GLaDOS.
And now for something completely different:
Back to study now.
~Peri
Monday, 17 October 2011
My Bad.
I should have mentioned this a bit earlier, lol.
My final exam EVER as an Undergraduate Student is THIS THURSDAY.
Thursday the 20th of October.
I've been avoiding Blogger in an attempt to get my lazy ass to study.
(Not happening much. I'm in a depressed phase and can't concentrate: Cue many "I'm so stupid, what made me think I could do this? I'm such an idiot" crying and/or SH sessions)
Got an extra shift on Friday, since one of my coworkers got very very sick and is being forcibly re-hydrated. (I'm guessing Gastro or Norovirus. Both do the rounds down here) so I won't be able to catch up on your blogs until next week. Another coworker just got her fainting fits diagnosed as epilepsy, which means she can't use the slicer and falls down randomly.
I'm starting to think the souls of dead pigs are rising up against us in protest that their tasty flesh is being adulterated with soy protein and named in such a way people assume it's still 100% meat! (Never trust a meat when you can't see the muscle grain)
Some good news though, I got my holidays confirmed for November! Yay! Plenty of time to update my CV and start hunting that elusive second job.
I'm contemplating being a smartass and handing in a translated copy of my CV to Minami Restaurant, since their staff-wanted sign is in Japanese.
One of my favourite AB Videos:
It's the passion and dedication that counts, not the container it comes in.
Love you <3
~Peri
My final exam EVER as an Undergraduate Student is THIS THURSDAY.
Thursday the 20th of October.
I've been avoiding Blogger in an attempt to get my lazy ass to study.
(Not happening much. I'm in a depressed phase and can't concentrate: Cue many "I'm so stupid, what made me think I could do this? I'm such an idiot" crying and/or SH sessions)
Got an extra shift on Friday, since one of my coworkers got very very sick and is being forcibly re-hydrated. (I'm guessing Gastro or Norovirus. Both do the rounds down here) so I won't be able to catch up on your blogs until next week. Another coworker just got her fainting fits diagnosed as epilepsy, which means she can't use the slicer and falls down randomly.
I'm starting to think the souls of dead pigs are rising up against us in protest that their tasty flesh is being adulterated with soy protein and named in such a way people assume it's still 100% meat! (Never trust a meat when you can't see the muscle grain)
Some good news though, I got my holidays confirmed for November! Yay! Plenty of time to update my CV and start hunting that elusive second job.
I'm contemplating being a smartass and handing in a translated copy of my CV to Minami Restaurant, since their staff-wanted sign is in Japanese.
One of my favourite AB Videos:
It's the passion and dedication that counts, not the container it comes in.
Love you <3
~Peri
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Friday, 14 October 2011
I always fuck everything up. Why do I even try?
Miles isn't talking to me because I said that self-help books don't work for me and just make me feel worse and it seems that the stopped him killing himself in 2007.
Well excuse me for being a weak pathetic looser. How about you go find some healthy normal person and have babies so I can kill myself without feeling guilty?
Miles isn't talking to me because I said that self-help books don't work for me and just make me feel worse and it seems that the stopped him killing himself in 2007.
Well excuse me for being a weak pathetic looser. How about you go find some healthy normal person and have babies so I can kill myself without feeling guilty?
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
FUCKING RAGE
I'm raging right now. Quite incoherently.
Let me attempt to put some of it into concrete form before I do or say something I'll regret.
Firstly:
I'm sick as a dog and attempting to get a passing grade on this paper so I can graduate University.
I went to the JET seminar today, and ZOMG I WANNA DO IT!
(If you don't know what JET is, google it. Don't ask me, coz I don't have time to explain it to 30 different people. Start doing your own research.)
I'm not even letting myself THINK about it until:
1) I have my degree firmly in my sticky mitts
2) I'm no longer reliant on medication to keep me sane.
The JET people are sensible. They will not hire you unless you are physically AND MENTALLY healthy. Culture shock+serious mental illness=suicide recipe. Hell, even normal SANE people can go off the deep end when faced with a radically different culture!
So: Focus on getting the degree and getting myself sane first. Jet will be an option until I turn 40, so long as I can actually pass the exam next week.
HOWEVER I made the mistake of telling Miles I "Really want to do JET".
Now he's acting like I MUST DO IT NOW NOW NOW RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Just like Mummy and Daddy. He won't fucking shut up about "long term plans" and "achieving my goals" and "doing what I want".
HOW ABOUT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP AND STOP PUTTING THIS FUCKING PRESSURE ON ME??
The reason I don't talk to my parents very often is because the ONLY THINGS they can seem to talk about are when I'm finishing uni, what job I'm going to do, where I want to be in ## years, when I'm going back to Japan, when I'm getting a "real" job, when I'm going to get knocked up and give them a sodding grandchild, blah blah blah fucking blah.
Nonstop bitching on and on and on.
HELLO, THERE IS NO POINT IN MAKING FUTURE PLANS BECAUSE AT THE RATE I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF BEFORE MY 25TH BRITHDAY, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
It does quite literally drive me insane. My parents are one of the biggest triggers I have and now Miles is being exactly the fucking same.
NOW. Whenever I mention that I need to be OFF THE FUCKING MEDS before I go overseas to work, I get swamped with all the usual platitudes the ignorant fling at people who are mentally sick.
But you're fine. You don't need medication. You don't need to see a counsellor/psychiatrist/doctor. You just need to think happy thoughts. Just get over it. Just think positive. You're always so negative. Cheer up. Stop being so cynical. Harden up. Life's not so bad. Suicide is so selfish. But you're not depressed. Its all in your head. Stop being lazy.
You've probably heard the rest that I'm raging too much to think of right now.
I'm so FUCKING ANGRY and I'm so fucking SICK of that self-help book bullshit talk that I could scream. Right now Miles's text messages read like a chapter-by-chapter summary of Robert Kiyosaki's next great best selling "how-to-become-a-goal-achieving-self-actualized-rich-cunt" book.
I feel like people are trying to force me into a smallish trapezoid shaped box when I'm really somewhat larger and more banana shaped. When I try to point out that I'm not a trapezoid they cluck their tongues and say "There there, of COURSE you're a trapezoid. You will be one if you just THINK hard enough!"
No amount of thinking boxy thoughts will turn a banana into a trapezoid, and I'm extremely reluctant to carry out the sort of razorblade surgery fitting others expectations would require me to do on myself.
I'm trying to think of a way to politely tell Miles to STFU and mind his own business.
"No offence, but you're sounding like my Dad. It's not sexy and makes me want to stab things. Please just shut up."
That's about as polite as I can get right now.
RAGE RAGE RAGE FUCKING RAGE.
~Peri
Let me attempt to put some of it into concrete form before I do or say something I'll regret.
Firstly:
I'm sick as a dog and attempting to get a passing grade on this paper so I can graduate University.
I went to the JET seminar today, and ZOMG I WANNA DO IT!
(If you don't know what JET is, google it. Don't ask me, coz I don't have time to explain it to 30 different people. Start doing your own research.)
I'm not even letting myself THINK about it until:
1) I have my degree firmly in my sticky mitts
2) I'm no longer reliant on medication to keep me sane.
The JET people are sensible. They will not hire you unless you are physically AND MENTALLY healthy. Culture shock+serious mental illness=suicide recipe. Hell, even normal SANE people can go off the deep end when faced with a radically different culture!
So: Focus on getting the degree and getting myself sane first. Jet will be an option until I turn 40, so long as I can actually pass the exam next week.
HOWEVER I made the mistake of telling Miles I "Really want to do JET".
Now he's acting like I MUST DO IT NOW NOW NOW RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Just like Mummy and Daddy. He won't fucking shut up about "long term plans" and "achieving my goals" and "doing what I want".
HOW ABOUT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP AND STOP PUTTING THIS FUCKING PRESSURE ON ME??
The reason I don't talk to my parents very often is because the ONLY THINGS they can seem to talk about are when I'm finishing uni, what job I'm going to do, where I want to be in ## years, when I'm going back to Japan, when I'm getting a "real" job, when I'm going to get knocked up and give them a sodding grandchild, blah blah blah fucking blah.
Nonstop bitching on and on and on.
HELLO, THERE IS NO POINT IN MAKING FUTURE PLANS BECAUSE AT THE RATE I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF BEFORE MY 25TH BRITHDAY, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
It does quite literally drive me insane. My parents are one of the biggest triggers I have and now Miles is being exactly the fucking same.
NOW. Whenever I mention that I need to be OFF THE FUCKING MEDS before I go overseas to work, I get swamped with all the usual platitudes the ignorant fling at people who are mentally sick.
But you're fine. You don't need medication. You don't need to see a counsellor/psychiatrist/doctor. You just need to think happy thoughts. Just get over it. Just think positive. You're always so negative. Cheer up. Stop being so cynical. Harden up. Life's not so bad. Suicide is so selfish. But you're not depressed. Its all in your head. Stop being lazy.
You've probably heard the rest that I'm raging too much to think of right now.
I'm so FUCKING ANGRY and I'm so fucking SICK of that self-help book bullshit talk that I could scream. Right now Miles's text messages read like a chapter-by-chapter summary of Robert Kiyosaki's next great best selling "how-to-become-a-goal-achieving-self-actualized-rich-cunt" book.
I feel like people are trying to force me into a smallish trapezoid shaped box when I'm really somewhat larger and more banana shaped. When I try to point out that I'm not a trapezoid they cluck their tongues and say "There there, of COURSE you're a trapezoid. You will be one if you just THINK hard enough!"
No amount of thinking boxy thoughts will turn a banana into a trapezoid, and I'm extremely reluctant to carry out the sort of razorblade surgery fitting others expectations would require me to do on myself.
I'm trying to think of a way to politely tell Miles to STFU and mind his own business.
"No offence, but you're sounding like my Dad. It's not sexy and makes me want to stab things. Please just shut up."
That's about as polite as I can get right now.
RAGE RAGE RAGE FUCKING RAGE.
~Peri
DON'T WANNA!
Ear infection turned into a headcold.
FUCK YOU INFECTIOUS GERMS!
I got paid for the two pigs by a Uni mate yesterday. $100, woot! Time to invest some in MOAR YARN for another two-toned toque for Gym Momma's youngest spawn.
Have I mentioned that I am fucking sick of earflap hats atm? I made a simple beanie just to get a break from flaps!
Oh yeah, my Japanese Oral in 1.5 hours. I should panic a bit XD
I have always, ALWAYS gotten nose-stuffy crook the week before a Japanese Oral. In high school it helped my pronunciation, now I understand that it gives me a bit of a 'posher' accent. The polite, feminine, upper-class, Maori-like "Nga" instead of "Ga" o.O
8 days until the final exam. I emailed the lecturer to find out how I'm doing in Internals, with that information I should be able to work out what mark I need to graduate.
I'm just so sick to death of the information bulimia that is Undergraduate study. Study, cram, regurgitate, forget, repeat. Twice the brainwork, none of the knowledge.
Hmmmmm, maybe I should have taken a year or two off instead of plowing on for 5 years straight?
Lol, I'm just stubborn and a sucker for punishment. Blinkers on and all the rot.
Ok, time for more coffee and HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SAY 'ADDAX' IN JAPANESE?
Time to pull on the Bullshit Master robes.
~Peri
FUCK YOU INFECTIOUS GERMS!
I got paid for the two pigs by a Uni mate yesterday. $100, woot! Time to invest some in MOAR YARN for another two-toned toque for Gym Momma's youngest spawn.
Have I mentioned that I am fucking sick of earflap hats atm? I made a simple beanie just to get a break from flaps!
Oh yeah, my Japanese Oral in 1.5 hours. I should panic a bit XD
I have always, ALWAYS gotten nose-stuffy crook the week before a Japanese Oral. In high school it helped my pronunciation, now I understand that it gives me a bit of a 'posher' accent. The polite, feminine, upper-class, Maori-like "Nga" instead of "Ga" o.O
8 days until the final exam. I emailed the lecturer to find out how I'm doing in Internals, with that information I should be able to work out what mark I need to graduate.
I'm just so sick to death of the information bulimia that is Undergraduate study. Study, cram, regurgitate, forget, repeat. Twice the brainwork, none of the knowledge.
Hmmmmm, maybe I should have taken a year or two off instead of plowing on for 5 years straight?
Lol, I'm just stubborn and a sucker for punishment. Blinkers on and all the rot.
Ok, time for more coffee and HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SAY 'ADDAX' IN JAPANESE?
Time to pull on the Bullshit Master robes.
~Peri
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Blargh
I've got the window open.
I can hear birds and the neighbour mucking about in her garden, getting it ready for Summer.
It has been an utterly GLORIOUS spring day. The oak trees in the town belt are looking more greenlike and less weirdly Autumn yellow.
Called in sick to work today, lol.
I've got a massive ear infection that is trying to spread into my throat and become a cold. I'm supposed to be studying for the vocab test tomorrow, the oral test on Tuesday and the exam in 11 days.
I'm tired, braindead, cranky and probably running a fever.
I seriously don't care about the sunshine right now, except that its drying some washing.
Ugh, I just want exams to be over, my degree in my drawer and my fucking HEALTH.
Not getting sick for so damn long has spoiled me rotten, lol.
I need to stop being a self-indulgent twat and learn me some fucking kanji. And do the dishes, too. They really need to be done.
~Peri
I can hear birds and the neighbour mucking about in her garden, getting it ready for Summer.
It has been an utterly GLORIOUS spring day. The oak trees in the town belt are looking more greenlike and less weirdly Autumn yellow.
Called in sick to work today, lol.
I've got a massive ear infection that is trying to spread into my throat and become a cold. I'm supposed to be studying for the vocab test tomorrow, the oral test on Tuesday and the exam in 11 days.
I'm tired, braindead, cranky and probably running a fever.
I seriously don't care about the sunshine right now, except that its drying some washing.
Ugh, I just want exams to be over, my degree in my drawer and my fucking HEALTH.
Not getting sick for so damn long has spoiled me rotten, lol.
I need to stop being a self-indulgent twat and learn me some fucking kanji. And do the dishes, too. They really need to be done.
~Peri
Friday, 7 October 2011
About Last Saturday (Get A Cuppa, LONG POST)
If any of you had any illusions that I was a sweet, harmless townie female and wish to preserve those illusions, please skip the next 2 paragraphs.
After about an hour of considering the pathetic scrabbling Jar of Mouse, I put the furry little bastard out of it's misery. Rubber gloves and a fresh blade on the craft knife, and Bast got her rodent sacrifice. (I would have preferred it if Dralion had eaten the sodding thing, but she's a special little snowflake -.-)
To be entirely honest, it was a lot less traumatic than having to get Orion (A Budgie) put down. Poor wee girl, she had a recurring lung condition which haemorrhaged. As soon as I saw her cough up the first lot of blood, I rang the vets and told them to prepare for an incoming casualty. Compared to that (accidentally, I pressed too hard) decapitating a feral member of an introduced pest species was about a 0.75 on the 1-10 horror scale.
So, onto some NICE stuff now.
Last Saturday, with the Port Chalmers trip and all that.
I'm just going to skim over the work portion of Saturday quickly. Ham ham ham, asshole customer, nice customer, ham, budget coffee at lunch, ham, awesome regular customer, luncheon, ham, pastrami, more assholes, ham, coleslaw, ham.
That about covers it.
The Saturday just passed marked the inaugural Seafood Festival down in Port Chalmers. Miles thought it would be fun to go, since he grew up down in Port. I personally wasn't too keen on the idea, given the regular "Aversion Training" I receive in the Seafood Department every sodding shift. The Seafood department is staffed by exactly TWO people, so we Deli Gimps must pick up the slack whenever the Seafood people need to have a break/get stock from the store freezer/empty the rubbish bin.
This means we get to worry about accidentally cross-contaminating things while serving two very busy departments with less than optimal staff numbers -.-;
Example Interaction:
Customer: Do you have Fish X?/Random Fish Department Question
Me: I'm sorry, I don't actually work in this department, so I honestly don't know. If you don't see something in the cabinet, they probably don't have it.
Customer: *Filthy evil deathglare* -Insert assorted rude responses-
The adult literacy rate in my town must be REALLY fucking low. About 1/60 people can read the signs on our 8 different kind of ham, and EXACTLY NONE can read the big embroidered words on my hat and apron that say "DELI!"
However, I do love the drive down the harbour and I absolutly ADORE the living fuck out of Port Chalmers. Just getting to go there definitely outweighs the gradually aquired dislike of anything to do with fish.
So we drive the lovely drive to Port Chalmers, find a park and mosey on over to the door of the dockside warehouse containing the festival.
The lady at the door was EXTREMELY rude, informing us that we should have come earlier (Excuse me, bitch? I have been at work preparing your sodding cold-cuts since 0730!), the event was closing in an hour, and it was $10 each to get in. All this with the air of a Queen faced with a pair of shit-covered cowherds.
Bitch.
Miles commented that that was the most expensive entry price for a not-for-profit even that he'd ever heard of, and we'd have to go get cash out.
Door Dragoness said it was discounted from $25 each, since it was closing soon.
$25 PER PERSON for a non-profit event? What the crap?
We got coffee instead. Fuck giving the Event Co-ordinators incentive to re-hire her next year!
After coffee we did a little wander of the main street.
Seriously Twisted (One of my all-time favourite shops) was having a relocation sale.
We went inside, and Miles greeted some of the people getting pleasantly hammered on white wine behind the counter. I proceeded to drool copiously over a lovely pink-tipped blue dyed possum fur necktie that would go PERFECTLY as a border to my shrug. (Upon seeing the $70 price tag, I winced and put it down quickly in case I got it ham-stinky)
I turned away from the pretty fluffy so it couldn't taunt me any more, and I was suddenly face-to-face with a box of hand-dyed yarn skeins.
On the box was written "$5/Skein"
I nearly died. They were SO damn pretty and SO damn cheap. Miles heard the (nearly supersonic) noise I was making (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!1!) and slipped a $20 into my hand.
He then said: "Buy all the yarns!"
My head nearly exploded. I nearly exploded!
Best. Man. EVER!
They could have easily charged $20 minimum a piece for these skeins. The amethyst/jade is destined for a reversible Celtic-inspired cabled scarf, and the rose/leaf green for a shawl. I'll have to make a practice shawl first, and I've already got the yarn and pattern for that lined up.
Ugh, can't start anything new until after my final exam on the 20th. DAMMIT.
I need to sneakily measure Miles for a jersey without him knowing it. He is dead set against me knitting him things, coz he's built like a brick shithouse and thoroughly abuses all his clothing.
I don't mind though. Making people things is my emotionally retarded way of expressing love, and if he wore something often enough for it to fall to bits it means he either liked it or it was a useful piece of clothing.
Does peppermint tea cover the taste of Rohypnol? You think he'd fall for the "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" trick?
Bwaaaaaaaahahahahaaaa!
I'm kidding. I'll just wait until he gets pissed on mulled wine at the Folk Festival and measure him when he's passed out asleep in the van :p
Ok, that's all done with. Time to go study and try to NOT think about the hideously large amount of calories I've had today. Lack of sleep increases appetite and decreases brain function, dammit. At least I managed to maintain this week, instead of gaining, right?
I hope you all have wonderful, mouse-free weekends :p
~Peri
After about an hour of considering the pathetic scrabbling Jar of Mouse, I put the furry little bastard out of it's misery. Rubber gloves and a fresh blade on the craft knife, and Bast got her rodent sacrifice. (I would have preferred it if Dralion had eaten the sodding thing, but she's a special little snowflake -.-)
To be entirely honest, it was a lot less traumatic than having to get Orion (A Budgie) put down. Poor wee girl, she had a recurring lung condition which haemorrhaged. As soon as I saw her cough up the first lot of blood, I rang the vets and told them to prepare for an incoming casualty. Compared to that (accidentally, I pressed too hard) decapitating a feral member of an introduced pest species was about a 0.75 on the 1-10 horror scale.
So, onto some NICE stuff now.
Last Saturday, with the Port Chalmers trip and all that.
I'm just going to skim over the work portion of Saturday quickly. Ham ham ham, asshole customer, nice customer, ham, budget coffee at lunch, ham, awesome regular customer, luncheon, ham, pastrami, more assholes, ham, coleslaw, ham.
That about covers it.
The Saturday just passed marked the inaugural Seafood Festival down in Port Chalmers. Miles thought it would be fun to go, since he grew up down in Port. I personally wasn't too keen on the idea, given the regular "Aversion Training" I receive in the Seafood Department every sodding shift. The Seafood department is staffed by exactly TWO people, so we Deli Gimps must pick up the slack whenever the Seafood people need to have a break/get stock from the store freezer/empty the rubbish bin.
This means we get to worry about accidentally cross-contaminating things while serving two very busy departments with less than optimal staff numbers -.-;
Example Interaction:
Customer: Do you have Fish X?/Random Fish Department Question
Me: I'm sorry, I don't actually work in this department, so I honestly don't know. If you don't see something in the cabinet, they probably don't have it.
Customer: *Filthy evil deathglare* -Insert assorted rude responses-
The adult literacy rate in my town must be REALLY fucking low. About 1/60 people can read the signs on our 8 different kind of ham, and EXACTLY NONE can read the big embroidered words on my hat and apron that say "DELI!"
However, I do love the drive down the harbour and I absolutly ADORE the living fuck out of Port Chalmers. Just getting to go there definitely outweighs the gradually aquired dislike of anything to do with fish.
So we drive the lovely drive to Port Chalmers, find a park and mosey on over to the door of the dockside warehouse containing the festival.
The lady at the door was EXTREMELY rude, informing us that we should have come earlier (Excuse me, bitch? I have been at work preparing your sodding cold-cuts since 0730!), the event was closing in an hour, and it was $10 each to get in. All this with the air of a Queen faced with a pair of shit-covered cowherds.
Bitch.
Miles commented that that was the most expensive entry price for a not-for-profit even that he'd ever heard of, and we'd have to go get cash out.
Door Dragoness said it was discounted from $25 each, since it was closing soon.
$25 PER PERSON for a non-profit event? What the crap?
We got coffee instead. Fuck giving the Event Co-ordinators incentive to re-hire her next year!
After coffee we did a little wander of the main street.
Seriously Twisted (One of my all-time favourite shops) was having a relocation sale.
We went inside, and Miles greeted some of the people getting pleasantly hammered on white wine behind the counter. I proceeded to drool copiously over a lovely pink-tipped blue dyed possum fur necktie that would go PERFECTLY as a border to my shrug. (Upon seeing the $70 price tag, I winced and put it down quickly in case I got it ham-stinky)
I turned away from the pretty fluffy so it couldn't taunt me any more, and I was suddenly face-to-face with a box of hand-dyed yarn skeins.
On the box was written "$5/Skein"
I nearly died. They were SO damn pretty and SO damn cheap. Miles heard the (nearly supersonic) noise I was making (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!1!) and slipped a $20 into my hand.
He then said: "Buy all the yarns!"
My head nearly exploded. I nearly exploded!
Best. Man. EVER!
They could have easily charged $20 minimum a piece for these skeins. The amethyst/jade is destined for a reversible Celtic-inspired cabled scarf, and the rose/leaf green for a shawl. I'll have to make a practice shawl first, and I've already got the yarn and pattern for that lined up.
Ugh, can't start anything new until after my final exam on the 20th. DAMMIT.
I need to sneakily measure Miles for a jersey without him knowing it. He is dead set against me knitting him things, coz he's built like a brick shithouse and thoroughly abuses all his clothing.
I don't mind though. Making people things is my emotionally retarded way of expressing love, and if he wore something often enough for it to fall to bits it means he either liked it or it was a useful piece of clothing.
Does peppermint tea cover the taste of Rohypnol? You think he'd fall for the "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" trick?
Bwaaaaaaaahahahahaaaa!
I'm kidding. I'll just wait until he gets pissed on mulled wine at the Folk Festival and measure him when he's passed out asleep in the van :p
Ok, that's all done with. Time to go study and try to NOT think about the hideously large amount of calories I've had today. Lack of sleep increases appetite and decreases brain function, dammit. At least I managed to maintain this week, instead of gaining, right?
I hope you all have wonderful, mouse-free weekends :p
~Peri
Damn You, Mouse
A fucking MOUSE.
A massive fucking MOUSE in my bedroom at 5am and no cat in sight.
It was behind my Lollipop dolls, so I didn't want to risk my shitty aim with my Barnett Cobra. (A kind of super-powerful hunters slingshot)
Its 0640now and the cat is in there.
She's better bloody well KILL the fucker. Last I saw of it she was sniffing at it while it sat there, doubtless thinking "What the FUCK are you doing? You mental, cat?!"
I should have grabbed it when it ran into a box of photos and stuck the fucker in a jar or something.
I've watched Mouse Hunt to many times to try it, though!
~Peri
UPDATE: After an hour I went in a checked. The mouse was huddled in a pair of socks and the cat was purring and rubbing my legs.
I now have a jar of mouse. Dralion is most definitely NOT a mouser, blast it! Why me, Bast?
A massive fucking MOUSE in my bedroom at 5am and no cat in sight.
It was behind my Lollipop dolls, so I didn't want to risk my shitty aim with my Barnett Cobra. (A kind of super-powerful hunters slingshot)
Its 0640now and the cat is in there.
She's better bloody well KILL the fucker. Last I saw of it she was sniffing at it while it sat there, doubtless thinking "What the FUCK are you doing? You mental, cat?!"
I should have grabbed it when it ran into a box of photos and stuck the fucker in a jar or something.
I've watched Mouse Hunt to many times to try it, though!
~Peri
UPDATE: After an hour I went in a checked. The mouse was huddled in a pair of socks and the cat was purring and rubbing my legs.
I now have a jar of mouse. Dralion is most definitely NOT a mouser, blast it! Why me, Bast?
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Coz Nothing Really Madras, To Meeeeeee!
When H.P Lovecraft gazed up at the night sky and comprehended the utter insignificance of mankind (and ultimately himself) in the face of the vastness of the universe, he wet himself a little and created a secular paradise of 18th century architecture from which gifted scientists sallied forth to defend mankind from the irrational horrors born in the Universe's vast blackness.
He also developed a severe case of adjectivitis when he set out to describe the indescribable.
Silly man.
I feel comforted by the fact that no matter how shitty my life may seem at any given point, in the end it actually does not matter. The stars will continue on their explosive cycles, ice balls and gas will spiral, the soft black void will swallow our shrieks of outrage and remain impassive.
I like space, it's the one thing mankind cannot fuck up. No matter how badly we screw up our chance here, nothing we can (currently) do can mar the cosmic gorgeousness that surrounds us.
I've always found it comforting to look up at the sky and know that it will not change significantly in my comparatively minuscule lifespan.
I like space.
Comforted by my cosmic insignificance.
(Yes, I'm overtired, a little drunk/stoned and had an utterly horrific "dinner" at a curry house. FYI, sweet rice with raisins and cashews gets really fucking boring after a few mouthfuls, and I was too poor for anything else. Pilau? Pilaf? Something. Fuck it, I wanted curry. Next week I'm saving my calories for the cheap Wednesday night curry from the epic Tandoori Palace.)
~Peri
He also developed a severe case of adjectivitis when he set out to describe the indescribable.
Silly man.
I feel comforted by the fact that no matter how shitty my life may seem at any given point, in the end it actually does not matter. The stars will continue on their explosive cycles, ice balls and gas will spiral, the soft black void will swallow our shrieks of outrage and remain impassive.
I like space, it's the one thing mankind cannot fuck up. No matter how badly we screw up our chance here, nothing we can (currently) do can mar the cosmic gorgeousness that surrounds us.
I've always found it comforting to look up at the sky and know that it will not change significantly in my comparatively minuscule lifespan.
I like space.
Comforted by my cosmic insignificance.
(Yes, I'm overtired, a little drunk/stoned and had an utterly horrific "dinner" at a curry house. FYI, sweet rice with raisins and cashews gets really fucking boring after a few mouthfuls, and I was too poor for anything else. Pilau? Pilaf? Something. Fuck it, I wanted curry. Next week I'm saving my calories for the cheap Wednesday night curry from the epic Tandoori Palace.)
~Peri
Monday, 3 October 2011
Morsel Combat
No, you haven't gone bonkers. (Yet)
Isn't this fucking HILARIOUS??
Some mad geniuses have too much spare time. Or not enough spare time to make more hilarity!
I really want to tell you about my Saturday, I had such an epic time. It will require photos and more brainpower than I have on a Monday arvo. I shall leave you with this stupid teaser tactic and go begin putting things down in a vaguely chronological order.
<3
~Peri
P.S. Holy fuck, it's October already!! In just over a month I shall be 25. Where has the year gone?
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