Grandad has a massive heart attack on Wednesday.

Glamour Nana just got home from the hospital and rang me to tell me.

Geez Dad thanks for letting me know.

He is doing OK now. They got the collapsed vein back open. It's going to be a fight keeping him resting though.

Workaholic little shithead that Grandad is.

~Peri

Miles wrote me this haiku

Had I a penny

For each day that I have loved you

I'd buy you a tank.

ISN'T HE JUST THE BEST EVER?!?

*Swoons*

~Peri

(I'm being fucking serious here. That's my kind of romance!)

HOLY SHIT GUYS MY PHONE HAS A CAMERA

I keep forgetting it does.

So pictures for you.

LOTS OF PICTURES.

When we woke up to assloads of hail everywhere:

Two weeks ago I got woken up by coffee and a bowl of snow:

The first daffodil of spring:

My motorbike:

The Cadbury Factory now has a cafe. Haven't been, though I've heard its pretty good.

The back of the Speight's Brewery.

Dralion being pissed off she isn't allowed to get in the box:

Dralion cockblocking me when I'm trying to make a blanket for me:

Dralion cockblocking me when I'm trying to work on Starshine's blanket. (Sorry Starsister, it will probably have cat hairs worked into it by now >.<)

Kitty trying to work out how to get into cyberspace and rule the interwebs:

HI I'M CUTE PAY ATTENTION TO ME. . .

. . . OR I WILL STICK MY CLAWS IN YOU. (Chatterbox gave me the red plushie dragon)

Being all cute and innocent and using a Whitestone Festival box as a pillow.

There are lambs up the hill. I'll got for a walk on one of my days off and get phonepics of them for you too.

~Peri

"Don't Worry About My SICK Fucking Wife"

I'll just leave this here.

Because it's fucking hilarious and its too fucking early in the day to brain.



Oh, and my all-time favourite piece of all his shows so far:



Miles and I sing Tim's love songs to each other a lot.

Especially 'You Grew on Me'.



~Vienn

Bitching About Work

She spent her third birthday in the hospital. With bones aching from chemo and nasty diarrhea.

Biggest success of the day was eating an entire slice of Red velvet cake.

Everyone is happy to see her heating, because chemo makes everything taste like shit and upsets your guts like nobody's business.

I saw Belinda outside work this morning.

If she hadn't kept pushing Kaye and Steve when the GP kept saying Cass was fine, Cass would most likely be dead by now.

Belinda and Kaye's kids call me 'Aunty Peri' (Aunny Preee) when my biological nieces call me 'Peri'.

Youngest Bro gets 'Uncle Doug'

Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for teaching them that, Mum. Glad to know I'm loved.

Deirdre, Tweedle Evil and Jeri are causing problems at work.

For the second time in 3 weeks both Tweedle Evil and Jeri pulled sickies on Benefit Payout Tuesday.

I accidentally picked up Jeri's craft knife and pens when Deirdre was talking at me while I was trying to serve a customer, write a slicing list and get the pies out of the oven all at the same time.

It was charming how Jeri immediately jumped to conclusions, accusing NewBoss of stealing it (When NewBoss said she didn't have it and hadn't touched it) and demanding that NewBoss buy her a new one.

Not a single fucking word of apology when I realized that I had it.

At some point during her ranting about the 'fucking thief' yesterday I heard Jeri say 'I'm not coming in tomorrow. I'm fed up with this place' before spending the rest of her shift going on about how she must have picked up a virus visiting the old folks home in Waimate.

And then she wasn't there today. BIG surprise -.-

There are accusations of sucking up because NewBoss complimented me in front of Deirdre.

I actually said "Help I'm being complimented and I don't know what to do"

No seriously, I don't. As much as it pissed Kerys off I still automatically write-off and ignore compliments because they're so obviously fucking wrong.

Trying not to leads me straight to a 2min brain-lockup with cognitive dissonance of mammoth proportions.

AND later I took Deirdre to task over raging out at NewBoss for being unintentionally rude because ENGLISH IS HER SECOND LANGUAGE YOU IGNORANT FUCK.

DON'T FUCKING BITCH OFF AT HER IF SHE MAKES A MISTAKE.

CORRECT HER.

TELL HER HOW AND WHY IT WAS WRONG.

DON'T THROW A PATHETIC LITTLE TANTY BECAUSE SOMEONE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY ACCIDENTALLY COCKED UP BECAUSE THEY'RE DEALING WITH AN UNFAMILIAR LANGUAGE AND CULTURE.

I compared her to the snotty bitch host sister I had (She fucking hated gaijin and anything to do with non-japanese) and gave her the most deliberately inoffensive 'You're being a horrible little shit and making Kiwis look bad' talking-to that I could.

Was rather enraged when NewBoss said that when she first started Jeri, Tweedle Evil and Deirdre went to her and asked for her help in pushing Chatterbox and I out of the department.

Part of why they're causing shit now is because NewBoss waited, observed, formed her own opinions and decided to keep her two good workers.

OH ONE LAST RAGE BEFORE I GO

Tweedle Evil claimed that she was depressed and unable to stop crying which is why she wasn't coming in today.

This from the BITCH who makes a game of pushing mentally unstable people to break so she can laugh at them. From the person who makes fun of our intellectually handicapped workers. From the person who fucking makes jokes about suicide and thinks its funny to tell suicidal people to go kill themselves.

I want to shut her in the freezer and listen to her scream as her skin cracks.

~Peri

Weddings and Leukaemia

CassSpawn has been inpatient since Fridey

Her temperature went through the roof overnight and her platelets were way low.

She was screaming 'OWIE OWIE OWIE' for half an hour before they traced the cause to a bladder infection.

It seems to be sorted out now, she was able to eat yesterday even though her bones are aching from the Chemo.

If the next month goes well she won't need a bone marrow donor.

And if things don't go well. . . Someone's getting the biggest needle you've ever seen jammed into them.

If there is a compatible donor.

So I'm crossing fingers and toes that the month goes well.

I guess if there is one thing my fucked-up early life has done for me, it's allowed me to be a lot more accepting in the face of potentially terminal illness than many other people.

What is ripping me up the most is that she's a fucking CHILD. She hasn't even started school yet and her life is being defined by pain and needles and hospital rooms.

At least Grandad.G had already had a life before he died.

So I'm writing fluffy stuff to distract myself and keeping in text with Kaye because I don't have Facebook.

I'd also like to say a big FUCK YOU to Tempest for being a HORRIBLE INFLUENCE.

We were talking via Tumblr about this:



And she said I'd have to have an Autumn wedding so she could come down to watch me release the Kracken.

I passed this on to Miles to which he said I'd have to be the one to pop the question because he'd never ask.

I pointed out that with me being the way I am there is no way in hell I'd EVER ask. Voluntarily attaching  myself to other humans in that was has never been something I do.

Hell, I've spent most of my life fighting to ESCAPE the social and legal bonds of family. I never knew that a marriage was anything but screaming fights until I met Kaye and Steve!

We came to the conclusion that it was a formality, a legal form to make 'official' a state that already exists.

Lol, I'd be more likely to go for the same level of fancy as Glamour Nana.

"Hey Jim, you're taking wednesday off next week so we can go fill out that piece of paper."

Yup. That's basically what she did.

I was talking to Chatterbox at work about how if I ever lost my fucking noodle and decided to get hitched, I wouldn't have Dad give me away.

I'm not his property.

He doesn't own me.

I am not chattel.

I am not a slave.

There is no transference of ownership taking place.

I am a legal adult and in full charge of my own faculties.

I am a human being in my own right.

Chatterbox said that when her daughter gets married next year she isn't giving her away, she is going to walk by her side down the aisle and go to her 'Mother of the Bride' place (Or whatever it is) because of those exact same reasons.

Oh, and the wedding photos will be like this:




~Peri

Oh Captain My Captain

When I was little I used to pretend my real Dad was someone like Robin Williams or Optimus Prime or Barry Crump or some combination of them.

(That was before I found out no, I wasn't adopted or a hospital accident. Worst realization of my life)

I just wish I'd been able to give him a hug and thank him for the laughs.

What an amazing legacy to leave. What a shitty brainglitch to have lived with while creating it.

Another one of us has lost their fight.

Gonna miss you. I don't begrudge you your choice one single bit.

(I'd be lying if I said part of me didn't envy your escape)

~Peri

Awww Poop

NewBoss was extremely kind and organised someone to work the first part of her shift yesterday so Dierdre didn't have to open the department alone.

I've developed some kind of weird gut thing and a headache so I finished 2.5 hours early yesterday and didn't go today.

Going to go tomorrow no matter how shit I feel.

Not eating helps as it doesn't threaten to leave via either end, but that is hardly productive.

I'm aiming for 1 chapter per week of Spiderwebs AND Chasing The Impossible, so I kinda need fuel to keep my brain running. (Oh, and the immune system so if this is a virus it can sort it out)

86 hit, 4 Kudos and 1 comment within 48 hours on Spiderwebs. SO FUCKING STOAKED.

In not-so-good news, Kaye and Steve's youngest (CassieSpawn) has leukemia.

Since I don't have Facebook I only found out when I saw a poster up at work saying that the best way to help is to donate blood.

They are up north with her and she is taking her meds well and is much perkier than she has been.

LaurieSpawn is staying with Kaye's Mum and going to school.

Slagathor is doing a collection of grocery vouchers for them at our branch of Noms'R'Us (There are 5 Noms'R'Us store within the city limits and with the way staff transfer around between them we're basically one ginormous incestuous clusterfuck of a family. Everyone knows everyone. There is no escape.)

Ugh this fucking sucks. They didn't need this!

I check the website and Venlafaxine isn't on the restricted list of medications, but my mental state at any given time and my blood-pressure on any given day would seriously hamper my ability to donate blood on a regular basis.

That and I'd have to be blindfolded so I don't punch the person jabbing me.

I have slapped at someone before. By accident. But hey now I'm unlikely to catch the more common types of meningitis!

We had a confirmed Meningitis carrier at my high school, so that's kind of a big deal for me.

Ok back to swearing at Word and researching military hierarchy :/

~Peri

Prepare for a Circus

We got a call fro NewBoss yesterday.

She's not going ot be in today.

Deirdre picked a screaming fight with her a few days ago and TweedleEvil pulled three sickies in a week and refuses to provide a medical certificate.

I'm so many kinds of Extremely Unimpressed.

Will not be taking Deirdre's shit today.

Poor baby will have to open the department BY HERSELF and run it BY HERSELF until I get there at 1030.

Funny, sounds like what NewBoss had to do Tuesday.

And Wednesday.

And Thursday.

Cry me a fucking river, Deirdre.

~Peri

Assorted Things and Snow Photos

I got the check-up call from MHS on Wednesday.

Told them I got pwned by The Sads but seem to have pulled out since the work situation that triggered it seems to have resolved.

They have closed my file.

I'm free.

Miles got an amazing job offer from The Races and he took it.

He's been doing live-to-air camera operation for them for a few months now, then did a fortnight installing TVs when they needed a Sparky. (He's a fully qualified Electrical Engineer)

Last week they offered him an absolutely sweet contract to do that kind of thing permanently.

He wasn't going to take it because it was "boring" but after a think he said yes.

Lol, all of Monday was spent getting his company vehicle, work phone and work computer sorted out.

I now have oodles of 'me time' during the day so I'm able to be more social when he's home.

Unless I've just been at work. Then I'm sore and snarly :/

Jeri is off all this week. She sounded fucking awful on Sunday. Massive bronchitis like she was trying to cough up a lung.

I don't like her, but I hope she gets better soon.

I've been working extra for NewBoss.

She rang me stupidly early so I agreed before I was properly awake.

However, next time she rings before 7am I'm going to say NO on principle. I don't want to encourage that kind of behaviour ^.^;

Saturday and Sunday were normal 8&8.5 hour shifts. Monday was 8.5 again and Tuesday I did 9.

So damn sore, holy shit.

Wore the pedometer on Monday out of morbid curiosity. With the new cabinet layout I did 430-some meters in 13mins of serving customers.

I've been getting weight comments since they changed the cabinet layout to put the 2 most popular products at opposite ends of the cabinet. The scales don't say much, so it's probably a body composition change. Building more muscle mass which is offsetting the loss of fat.

Why yes, I can throw a 7kg ham at your face if you piss me off. Like it's nothing. Because to me it is.

NewBoss seems fairly impressed with the work I did on Tuesday, just the two of us there on pension day and she kept making comments about how organised and on top of things we were for there being just us two.

The fucking dish sanitiser started beeping and I figured out the problem and fixed it. (It wasn't the rinse-aid, but I left a message for the rep to get us more since there wasn't any in the cleaning room. It was the solid detergent block that was out. Thank FUCK we had more of that, I was bout ready to kick the thing to pieces if it didn't shut up)

The new StoreBoss is a bit like my Dad.

Every single time he came past the Deli on Tuesday he was bitching about what he weren't doing/hadn't done instead of pointing out how well we were doing for being half-staffed on a busy day.

When he was asking NewBoss why she hadn't cleaned the cabinet windows yet I held out a roll of paper towel and asked him if he was volunteering as tribute. He laughed, said no and walked away.

She had been there BY HERSELF from 0500-1000 for crying out loud! He was DAMN lucky the department was looking as good as it was!

I mentioned the similarities between him and Dad to NewBoss and Chatterbox, and said I was going to talk to him about it.

I have an idea of how to do it without coming across like a bitch. I hope it works.

Lol, I'm not a manipulative little shit with a Bullshit Artist degree for nothing!

I'd have done a Double Major in Economics if the Smiling Assassin hadn't changed the Student Loan scheme. (Fucking pillock has made life worse for everyone who wasn't already a rich wanker)

This is what I woke up to this morning.

Miles brought me a cup of coffee and a bowl of snow to tempt me out of bed.

It was WARM in there, dammit!

~Peri

Delicious, Delicious Irony.

I AM FUCKING CACKLING  LIKE A TRUCKLOAD OF HENS RIGHT NOW.

Ok so remember how Buttinski never filled any shifts after Polly left?

Her reasoning for doing this was to "save them for the 2IC when we get one."

Ya-huh.

Problem is, if we consistently don't fill a given shift then The Powers In Charge of Budgets assume that we don't need those hours and remove those hours from our wages budget.

SO SO SO SO SO

OMFG GUYS

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Buttinski was supposed to be coming back as 2IC. coz she was the only idiot to apply for the job.

But it appears that there is a. . . slight problem with our wages budget.

After those consistently unused hours got cut we don't have enough hours left in our wages budget to HAVE a departmental 2IC.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY KINDS OF EVIL GLEE I AM EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW.

This feels so good it's probably illegal in several countries.

~Peri

GUESS WHAT, GUYS!

MY BRAIN IS BACK IN WRITING MODE!

THIS IS FUCKING EXCELLENT!

I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD SINCE LAST NOVEMBER!

It may be the pretense of Spring that has been going on outside, the Nor'Easter, finding one of my favourite fics finally finished or the ear infection leaving, but today I feel pretty fucking good.

Going to give it a cautious few days to make sure this is really the end of this bout of The Sads. I'm cautiously watching the rabbit hole with my harpoon in one hand and the little red button to cue the napalm strike in the other.

Be vewwy vewwy quiet; I'm huntin' wabbits!

~Peri