Monday: Fucked Up, More Than Usual

Made you a Vlog this morning.

Fucked up a few times Re: Names so I'll be taking it down on April 7.



Today was unspeakable bloody hell.

Mum gave me a ride to physio. Used it as a chance to have a go at me about Miles not mowing the lawns and the garden being so fucking out of control. (Still.)

I told her to talk to him about it, because he won't listen to me.

I'm just a female, 3 years younger than him. What the fuck do I know about anything?!

Work=Shitty shit shithead from shitville.

Van failed the WoF in many particulars (Tyres, the door things, rust etc) so I'm going to have to work out buses for tomorrow and Thursday.

Miles blew out a tyre (Needed replacing anyway) so I walked 2/3rds of the way home.

You know the Seafood Dude thing? Yeah, he talked to a few people and he confirmed shagging and/or dating at least 6 different High-functioning (Or just-barely functioning) Special Needs girls across 3 schools in my town.

Claiming that he didn't realise or that it was "during [his] 'Slut Phase'" or something.

Said to his face that his kink makes mine look positively boring.

For the curious: I'm a Submissive, but not a masochist. Miles is pretty vanilla. He claims to want to learn about BDSM but it's been 3 years and counting since he said he'd look into BDSM things :/

Notice how my particular kink DOESN'T make me a meek little '50s housewife?

Good(ish) things about today:
-Chatterbox, Juliette from Butchery and Chatterbox's daughter loved my pear chutney and said I should sell it. I'm puting in early plans for doing so next year. (Prioritising the vege garden to get garlic/onions and clearing under pear trees for ease of harvesting)
-Chatterbox's son works at a fancy burger place (As in MOTHERFUCKING STEAK AND VENISON BURGERS) and she gave me 1/2 the burger he bought her for tea.
-Went 'FUCK THIS SHIT' and treated myself to Starbucks and sat by the wall writing up NaNoWriMo notes for this year. Just copying over character info so far, no real plot ideas yet. Get the Blue Robes guff out of my head so there is space for other things to grow.

I'm going to dry my hair and crawl into bed.

~Peri

Fuck It All, Fuck It All; Flip That Table, Screw You All!

These videos accurately describe the type of Totally Fucking Crazy in my brain right now:







I just. . . don't even fucking know 0.0;

The first half of today went a lot better than I expected.

We have the Deli manager from another store while TempBoss is on holiday.

SHE IS DELI TRAINED! SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING! SHE IS WILLING TO LEARN HOW THINGS ARE DONE AT OUR STORE!

The Boy moved out to her store a few years back and warned her about my Brainspaz, and her partner has a milder form of BiPolar than Jaq but is high-functioning with it.

This is PURE WIN!

When she said things that could be interpreted as her having a go, she'd ACTUALLY SAY that she wasn't having a go at us, it was -other thing-.

This was SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

We'll see how things go over the next 2 weeks, though. She said to reserve judgement until then and that she'll be satisfied with me simply not hissing at her in pure hatred.

The end of the shift was about as shitty fucking awful as you could expect.

I'm so far past "Completely Fed Up With This Shit" that from where I'm standing you couldn't even find "Utterly Fucking Done" with the bloody Hubble.

Noms'R'Us is beyond a fucking joke. No 2IC, no Manager, no replacements for anyone who has quit in the last 2 years.

TempBoss went on fucking holiday WITHOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO COVER POLLY'S OR DEIRDRE'S SHIFTS! (Polly is officially Gone, Deirdre should be in Italy by now)

I just. . . I just. . . ARGH!

Our Regulars have noticed the situation and are being fucking awesome.

I'm becoming a little scared at my ability to plaster the Cheerful Customer Service Mask over my face in a split second and sound cheerful and polite when I'm millimetres from walking out or going on a slashing spree.

Finally got Miles to get around to giving me the link to his balloon sculpture photos, I'll post them in the morning.

Need to go kill things in a computer game.

~Peri

Therapy and Zombies

If I see one more "choose happiness" picture on Tumblr I SWEAR TO FUCK I WILL PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE KIDNEYS.

*Ahem*

Talking to Kerys today nearly had me in tears.

Was more upset walking out of the appointment than I was when I walked in.

Talking about all the things I don't want to talk about and have been successfully repressing on the sunday of my working week?

Yeah, not good.

Went to the gym after.

My standard response when people ask me why I go to they gym is "I'm training for the Zombie Apocalypse".

Because the truth -a combination of maintaining functionally pain-free and executing a complicated mental balancing act revolving around depression and weight- is far too complicated and awkward for general conversation.

Plus I just like to screw with people.

Weaponised weirdness.

It's good fun.

(Half the time you wouldn't want to be seen with me in pubic)

The Boy texted me about this.

A 5k Zombie Run in Ross Creek?

I'm filling out a leave form TOMORROW and kicking up the cardio.

I have the lieu days and this is plenty of notice.

I have found a free Couch-to-5k podcast and there is a nice, long, flat stretch of road (Or three) near me AND some sports grounds I could run on.

No running shoes. Hmmm. I don't want shin-splints again, since I work on my feet in steelcaps on a concrete floor for 29 hours each week.

I seem to get them every time I do high-impact stuff without appropriately cushiony footwear. I also roll my ankles a lot if the fuckers aren't corralled into place.

Going to have to plan smart and take this slowly.

Perhaps do a Dropkick Bro and prevail upon the Maternal Guilt for a decent pair of running shoes?

. . . Probably not. I feel bad enough as it is with her getting me flower seeds and Derris Dust for the broccoli.

Of course, I'm so irrationally fucking terrified of the undead that any training I manage to do will be rendered completely useless as I devolve into a gibbering wreck at the first glimpse of a shambling corpse.

The Boy has hit my stubborn and competitive streak.

No way in hell do I want to lose to a self-centred, misogynistic bitch of an Ex.

~Peri





(The Boy is an Ex he's also one of my best mates. I am just as aware of his good qualities as his bad ones.)

Annoying Whining

TW: Moping, Food Shite.

Made a decent bit of progress pulling creeper out and pruning a bit of the garden today.

So much more light in there now.

It's looking really amazing out there after 1.5 weeks of solid work by me and Mum.

I've been looking up ground cover plants to cut down the epic fuckton of weeding that is going to be happening. Going to throw some thyme under the quince tree and let it take that whole piece over. When it gets to the point that I have a stupidly large amount I can dry it and give it to people.

Also considering what would work for companion planting to help reduce the bug load on the vege garden, but the internet is full of fucking anecdotes and arguments from antiquity so that'll take a bit longer to sort out.

Tansy, marigolds and rosemary sound good though.

Don't want something permanent in a chunk of dirt I'll be taking on with the rotary hoe every two years or so :/

Today Miles worked on tidying up the workshop and filled grass sacks with the shit I pulled up.

Filled 3 empty wool bales with crap and got 1/3rd of the way through the job?

My arms got pretty scratched up today. Throwing branches around and not keeping track of where the smaller bits were.

Long sleeves at MHS tomorrow.

Miles got everyone fizzy drink today when he came to fill the grass sacks. I had a few mouthfuls then poured mine out when Mum and Miles weren't around.

My weight is finally moving slowly downwards. Still 3kg from where I'm comfortable but I do NOT want to fuck that up with full-sugar fizzy, kthnx.

Going through one of those 'Omfg I can't draw for shit everything I do looks like crap UGH WHY AM I EVEN TRYING I'LL NEVER GET ANYWHERE' phases.

Started with the 10th Birthday Art Competition for pixel ponies and got worse when trying to learn how to use Fire Alpaca instead of Photoshop.

OF COURSE comparing myself to the professionals and Art School people in the forums doesn't help AT ALL.

Last time this happened I did a few free headshots until I was through the stupid headblock.

Might have to do that again.

Miles has a job interview tomorrow.

He's not too interested in the job so I think he's going to "throw" the interview.

Vague du Cirque just paid him, so he's back in the zone of complacency where he has enough for a few weeks so securing stable income doesn't seem that important.

I hope he gets it, not just because of the stable income but it's a job manning a live-to-TV camera several days per week. He hasn't used his film skills since. . . fuck. . . the 2013 Capping Show? And that's the area he seemed to want to get into the most, besides becoming a combination of Derren Brown and Robert Kiyosaki.

To be honest, if you're starting in your early 30s you have more chance of becoming Peter Jackson than either of the above.

ESPECIALLY if you live at the arse-end of Nowhere, Southern Hemisphere.

I have about an hour before I have to crawl in the direction of bed and Miles is poking about in the workshop, I should try to bang out a few hundred words or so for Aftermath.

Ahahahahahaaaaa. . . riiiiiiiiiiiight.

~Peri

Vlog and Disconnected Ramble

Made you a vlog after work last night.



Miles is currently making a balloon Sailor Moon.

The gloves and hair are giving him issues but she looks AWESOME.

Feeling really crook today. There's a few different bugs going round so no idea what it is yet.

Dickbag2IC came to help us today, it was deeply weird seeing him be useful.

I think he is starting to panic because the Zeus of Noms-R-Us is coming to visit on Thursday and AwesomeBoss isn't here any more to pull a miracle out of her ass.

Balloon-Moon is just as lopsided and clutsy as Usagi herself.

My inner Nerd is proud.

The flower seeds I planted have started to sprout. Mainly the Alyssum and Cornflowers. I think it's because they're getting more direct sunlight. Still taking photos to make a a timelapse video for you.

I need to take photos of my graffitied cards. They're fucking hilarious. Especially my Goblin Furriery. He deals no damage to snow creatures because he loves them carnally ^.^

Ok time to go learn more about Iceland's fucking epic volcanoes. (Research)

~Peri

I was a good  girl.

When I saw the way the day was going and realised I could end up doing something stupid I texed Jaq and asked her for the EPS phone number instead.

I feel fucking stupid because I didn't end up needing it and I just freaked her out and she came in to work to see if I was OK.

I'm not, but I think I can keep it together a bit longer.

Pressure building in the magma chamber, no idea how or when this sucker is gonna blow.



~Peri

Got You In A Dime Store; Million Dollar Maybe

I swear to fuck.

Tomorrow.

If TempBoss has a go at me about ANYTHING re:today's shift.

I will lose my shit.

Unbelievably exhausted.

All I want to do is curl up in the corner and never move again.

Polly has finally handed in her notice after years of talking about it.

The chances of a new person being hired are looking increasingly slim.

This is BULLSHIT.

Who'll come visit me in the loony bin when I snap?

~Peri

Don't Wanna Weed? Vlog Instead!

Unlisted Vlog of Procrastination.

Garden ramble, venting, 

I finally have my BA Diploma in my hot little hands.

WTF DO I DO WITH THIS THING?!

Concrete proof that I am no longer one of the Undergrad horde.

Ugh, better not let Mum see. She'll want to frame it.

~Peri

Who Am I?

I was quite disgustingly productive today.

-Did the dishes
-Caught up on everyone's blogs
-Invented a Pear Chutney recipe
-Made Pear Chutney
-Gardened with Mum
-Did groceries
-DIDN'T get in a fight with Mum
-Put 5 packets of flower seeds in punnets of potting mix and (clean) cat litter to germinate. (Potting mix doesn't like to hold water. Cat litter does. Magic combo.)
-Edited and posted Chapter 3 of a Pixel-pony story
-Quested out Jaq's ponies for her
-Folded some washing
-Arranged to be social with a Uni friend tomorrow
-Didn't laugh in TempBoss' face when she asked me to do an extra shift with <12hrs p="" turnover="">-Had a shower AND WASHED MY HAIR

Call the men in white coats. I've obviously gone completely out of my tiny mind.

~Peri

Holy Shit

I never thought this day would happen.

Pizza is no longer a treat food.

It is no longer the thing I enjoy every once-in-a-while because I feel like a treat and fuck it I'll have pizza because I like pizza.

I'm no longer excited by pizza.

I'm absolutely, positively bored of pizza.

Me! The kid who stopped sucking her thumb with the promise of dinner at Pizza Hut with the All-You-Can-Eat dessert bar!

D:

For the first time ever, I opened my pizza box and instead of going "Yay! Pizza! Happy times and a movie!" I thought "Ugh. Pizza. Do I really have to have this AGAIN?! I'm so, so sorry poor tastebuds."

It was incredibly difficult to force down three slices when I should have been able to eat 2/3rds of the fucking thing since it had been a long time and a lot of gardening since lunch.

Nope.

I just couldn't stomach it.

This is really fucking depressing.

Pizza has been my happy-time special treat food since forever.

Now it's slightly less thrilling than boiled cabbage.

I think I'm going to cry.

~Peri

It Is Not In My Core Programming To Happily Be A Housewife

So it looks like I'm going to have to take over the cooking too if I ever want to eat anything for dinner that isn't chicken curry, chicken satay or pizza.

This is why I fucking HATE living with a partner.

Within a year you end up taking over all of the cleaning, gardening and food-related things on top of work, study and anything else you're doing out of sheer self-defence.

I've explained at least five times since we moved in that living in a filthy house seriously and negatively impacts my mental health, but he still won't clean up unless I bitch at him.

I've also explained that if I'm too busy doing all that shit or too tired from it (Or flipping out because I'm living in a pigsty like the lazy pathetic piece of shit I am) then I'm exponentially less likely to have the time or energy to be horny.

ALSO

Who on earth would want to fuck the reason they were forced to spend their precious free time up to their elbows in mould, dust and cleaning products instead of writing or playing Minecraft?!

Unfortunately Miles is too busy being busy for the sake of being busy to sit down and talk.

Fuck, at least the gardening cancels out some of the pizza calories -.-

~Peri

All my words have vanished.

Don't know where they've gone.

Looking at motorbikes on Trademe.

Dad found 3 last night.

Two fugly ones in the North Island that were newish, cheap and 650cc.

An utterly gorgeous 850cc bike in my town. Sadly FAR too big for little old me to be riding to work and back (not to mention the engine difference would be like going from a pony to a Thoroughbred!)

So: Still looking.

Mum is helping me give the garden a pre-winter taming since Miles CBF doing anything. (He mows the lawn every 3 months when he gets sick of me asking him to do it)

I'm just going to take over the whole fucking lot, aren't I?

House work, garden and food growing.

On top of being the only person with a job.

Mum said Dad is going to have a talk with him about the garden, he's not impressed with the situation either.

It seems that Mum and I can get along if we're gardening.

Mainly because the noise of power tools means we can't talk much and we're both secretly happy to be exercising and burning calories.

PLUS the satisfaction of being able to tidy up by destroying things.

This will be tested tomorrow and Wednesday as well. We didn't get too far today thanks to the weather.

I didn't get anywhere in the 10th Birthday art contest. I wouldn't mind so much if the person who entered Advanced-level stuff in the Intermediate hand't placed >:(

The Admins probably took my "Long long overdue" comment on the proposed site upgrades personally.

Well, we all know Veez and Zarqx are petty like that. If you ever join PI and think you might want to apply to join the Moderators or Art team (Both unpaid!) some day, NEVER EVER so much as  imply any criticism of the Admins in the forums, no matter how blatantly they fuck up.

Meh, they've lost themselves large portions of their userbase over the last 4 years. Most of the good Adoptables changed, moved offsite or shut down (Taking with them the reason a lot of people kept their PI accounts renewed) and while I was taking a break it appears that a lot of the Roleplayers left as well due to a stupid rule change. (I saw people raging about it on Tumblr)

I've been spending too much time on Tumblr -.-;

Reblogging shit makes me feel like I have words.

Sorry this post has been so forced.

~Peri

Went to the GP.

I wanted 2 days off, he wanted me to take 2 weeks.

Compromised on one working week (Fucking money) which leaves me with two half-paychecks instead of no-pay and then ACC bullshit AGAIN.

Woo.

Feel fucking pathetic for needing time off to play rodeo bull with my brain, but that is how this shit goes.

I have Zopiclone again.

Sleep.

SLEEP.

OMFG SLEEP YAY.

It has been getting wobbly for a while, then this shit happened and blew everything out of the fucking water.

Every time I am not actively distracting all I can do is sit and stew in the frustration.

Unfortunately, lying in bed waiting to sleep =/= Actively Distracting.

Kerys seemed to comprehend some level of the ragefurno that is going on.

Usual instructions to NOT RUMINATE ABOUT BAD THINGS and pushing me to try to make a career of writing.

Ugh, fucking hell.

I just. . . Don't even think that is feasible for me.

May as well try, though. That way people could stop hassling me to borrow the copy that AwesomeBoss' husband printed and bound for me and FUCKING WELL GET THEIR OWN.

Ahaaaahahahahaha PonyIsland Admins spent the last 3 years hyping the new layout that was supposed to be rolled out for the 10th Birthday of the site. . . .

Once again we were predictably underwhelmed as the rollout failed to happen and they had no backup plan in place.

OHWAIT we got a bunch of snacks and some throwaway items. Meh.

They could have at least had some new pattern genes for the ponies waiting in the wings "just in case"

FFS THEY HAVEN'T EVEN ANNOUNCED THE WINNERS OF THE ART CONTEST ON TIME THIS YEAR.

I found the 'PonyIsland' tag on Tumblr, it is exactly 50% gorgeous artwork and 50% complaints from players that can't be voiced on the site for fear of begin banned.

My new tag to lurk and feel at home in.

As if I need to spend more time on tumblr -.-;

~Peri

Oh, It's You. It's Been A Long Time

You know the state I was in when Tweedle Evil finally made me snap*?

I'm there again.

Instead of sleeping last night I spent most of the night crying and raging and contemplating either slicing myself up or hanging from the pear trees to escape this.

It's like a firestorm of rage and and frustration and anger and hate and futility

I do have the option of fleeing. I can do so very quietly.

Keeping something like planning to leave the country a secret would be a piece of piss.

I still have the money from Nana.M and the insurance money from my bike.

It will cost $130 and take about 10 working days to renew my passport.

I'd be out of here in an instant if I trusted Miles to remember to feed Dralion. (He can't even remember to water potplants)

I can't shut my brain up. I can't turn it off.

Its driving me insane.

Burning, churning, raging hurricane of molten rock bits and bad thoughts.

Need to escape.

Trapped.

ARGH FUCK.

I can't stand the bullshit at work on top of the shoulder pain (And weight, can't forget what the scale said this morning, Porky) but I know that ANY attempt to stand up for myself will be utterly futile and would most likely make the situation worse.

I am seriously considering getting a medical certificate for two days off and blaming it on my shoulder, saying I overexerted on Tuesday (Which is true).

Real reason:
Stability Self-Assessment: 20-30%Sane.
My control of the rage is slipping. It is very easy for me to say or do something stupid in this state. If I go in to work while like this and events continue as they did yesterday then it is extremely likely that I will do something Monumentally Fucking Stupid.
-Unleash on TempBoss on shop floor
-Locking myself in the toilets and refusing to come out
-Shitton of self-harm
-Walking out and heading for the hills (Literally)
-Calling EPS to come get me and refusing to speak to Management until after EPS people arrive
-Unleashing on Douchecannon2IC
-Throwing heavy things at people
^Any and all combinations of the above

Maybe I should get that medical certificate.

At least then I can get some more Zopiclone and force my brain to STFU for a few hours.

I have to see Kerys on Friday. She still thinks I'm dealing with Rational Humans (Contradiction in terms?) with our Store Management and I'm fucking dreading what she's going to make of this.

I'm honestly expecting the same kind of minimising belittlement I get from management and to be told I deserve to be treated like an incompetent fuckstick (She's obviously punishing you for a reason Peri, even if you don't know what it is) OR that I'm Blowing Things Out Of Proportion because I'm Mentally Ill.

I can't explain any of this to Miles because he doesn't fucking understand in the way that Normal People don't fucking understand.

Or if he thinks he does then he
a)Goes all suffocate-y
b)Gives me some variation of the "You're Only As Happy As You Think You Are" crap that makes me want to lock people in a small room full of starving rats.

No matter how many times I remind him that when I'm upset, angry, scared or sad all touch is interpreted as BAD unless I actively seek it out -trappedfearpainescapepunishmentrunhidetrappedescape- he still tries to hug.

Part of me realises that this is 'Normal person' reaction to seeing a loved one in distress, another part is pissed that after so many years and more reminders he STILL doesn't remember this.

He asked what was up and I said extremely fucking tired (True) and pissed off from work (Also True).

I don't know what to do.

I can't deal with this.

There is a nuclear explosion in my chest but there is nowhere for the fire and destruction to go.

~Peri











*Recap:
I was raging so hard I slammed the cabinet shut in a prelude to walking out (Other urge was to slam her face into the wall several times) and accidentally smashed the tempered glass of the cabinet over the expensive stock.
Immediately had a crying meltdown in the toilets and freaked out the Managers.
Got psych leave from the doctor and a meds adjustment.
Management decided that we could no longer work together and all my shifts got changed so we didn't work together.
When I asked for a mediated meeting to find out what her problem was, Management told me they'd done it before and it only made her worse and I just had to ignore her.

Kicked Monday's ASS! Got PWNED by Tuesday

Guess who has two thumbs and their Class 6 License?

THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE!

Also: I did it.

I entered the bloody art contest a full half-day early because I knew I'd be too knackered after work tonight to work on it.

Re-posting the art here may or may not break their plagarism rules and I'm not playing games with the draconian fascist ADMIN of the site.

Link to the page of the submissions thread: CLICK HERE. Mine is near the bottom of the page.

I was tempted to enter in Intermediate, but after looking over the other entries again I decided against it.

What really clinched it was Shooni entering work that was obviously Advanced-Level in the Intermediate group. (Ctrl+f their username on this page then compare it to the other entries) Entering a group below your skill level is instant-disqualification. While mine isn't exactly Advanced calibre, it's above what the majority of the Intermediate people were pulling off.

One day I'll have a decent tablet and a computer that doesn't crash when I try to work on backgrounds. (I shit you not, when I tried to work some smudge-tool magic on the 'Light Damage' lines my laptop nearly had a seizure)

Today, on the other hand, was such an unredeemable clusterfuck that I couldn't keep the rage in long enugh to type it up.

Have a 30min vlog of me swearing inessantly about my FUBAR job.



I discovered a new band this morning. I'm going to rock out to this now.



Tomorrow I'm going to clean the bath so I can have a nice long soak with a book and a glass of whiskey.

~Peri

1hr to go

I have to report for my Full Licence practical test in an hour.

I am shitting bricks.

IT'S MAKE OR BREAK TIME, PEOPLE.

 

~Peri

VROOM VROOM

I'm wriggling out of typing with ANOTHER vlog.



Tl;dw:
15mins of verbal slobbering over the motorbike I'm borrowing (Suzuki Intruder 250cc, minus the pillion pad)
Work is an indescribable clusterfuck.
I'm wearing my wheatbag, suck it.

My shoulder hurts and I'm saving my arm for entering an art contest on PonyIsland.

I'm THIS FUCKING CLOSE to sooking out and giving up, but if I let myself quit because of a mass desertion on the part of my pathetic excuse for self-confidence then I'll just hate myself more.

ARGH THE BEST ARTISTS ON THE FUCKING SITE HAVE ENTERED AND THERE ARE NOW 14 ENTRIES AND THEY'RE ALL SO FUCKING GOOD I JUST CAN'T UGH.

At least mine has a bad math pun in it *Suckls*

I have to shade one more panel, put it all together (Vertical semi-comic of sorts), finishing touches, write description, create close-ups and enter it before Marth 10th, 21:33 site time. (Some time on the 11th for me)

I love deadlines. Without them I'd never get anything done.

~Peri

Natsukashii~

Mi-chan loved the Nana comics.

I tried reading them to give us something in common but I just couldn't get into them.

The movie came out just as I had to leave.

'Glamorous Skies' was on one of the channels on my plane home.

I listened to that one station the whole flight home just to hear it those last few times.



I want to go back to that/those mornings.

~Peri

Made you a Vlog about going to the doctor and stuff.



Basically I've been sick because my blood pressure is in the toilet and they have no idea why.

I'm eating normal-human caloric ranges and I haven't caught the cold that is going around, so no idea whats going on.

If I drink any more water I'll pee until my house looks like the streets of Chch.

Have a gander at the comments.

People were wondering where the fuck the sandbags were when the rivers started rising BEFORE the tide came in. This is most likely a result of STILL not having the drainage system fixed up 3 years after the quakes. It's becoming a yearly thing and the people in charge STILL don't have their shit together!

 WTF was Key doing fucking around tying up resources taking a stroll instead of rolling up his sleeves and helping people clean up?!

They're prioritising the CBD over the rest of the town and assuming the residents are lying about how bad things still are there.

If everyone moves away, the mayor won't have any ratepayers left to finance the rebuilding of the Cathedral.

IF I'VE GOT NOBODY THERE TO VISIT I WON'T BE GOING TO SEE YOUR PRETTY NEW CATHEDRAL NOW, WILL I?!

Fuck this shit, I'm going to sleep.

Didn't get much last night because I spent all last night fighting the undead. Had to decapitate a childhood friend with a breadknife and explain to Belinda's kids why we had to be quiet, keep the lights on and stay away from the windows and doors. Kaye lost her oldest kid to one that got in through a dark room and both Miles and Steve bit the dust early in the night. So glad I didn't actually see it, Kay said they were ripped apart and eaten alive because they got swarmed.

Thank fuck we discovered the orange juice test and learned to kill people before they had fully turned.

The worst part was literally NOT BEING ABLE TO WAKE UP in the morning. Every time my alarm went off the dream dragged me right back under.

Ugh.

~Peri

*keyboard smash of rage* + Motorbike Porn

AUGH FUCK.

This is Dunners.

OF COURSE we only have one fucking testing station in town.

The earliest practical test I'm able to get to is on the 20th and my license dies on the 10th.

You can't sit a full license test without a current restricted license, so I'm gonna have to renew the fucker first.

Thats $50 I can't exactly afford to spend right now.

I'm going to do the "Boy Thing" of applying for a Monday Morning (The 10th) slot NOW and ringing them in the morning to confirm that my license is still valid on the day of expiry.

I know that your vehicle reggo is valid up to and including the date of expiry, so I'm hoping that this is the same for your license.

If I'm wrong I forfeit the license fee.

$120 I can't exactly afford to lose right now.

Starshine, Tempest, Mich: Your packages are going to be a lot later than I had planned on them being. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise.

In the meantime, WHO WANTS TO SEE NEW ZEALAND'S ROAD RULES?

Heavy vehicle? Light vehicle? Motorbike? Pushbike?

You can read all these suckers online.

COME REVISE WITH ME!

Some of the driving mistakes they illustrate in the Motorcycle Roadcode are so fucking stupid only a braindead hamster (Read: Car Driver) or a total n00b would make them.

And they're the kind of mistakes you only make once.

After that once you're either:
a)Dead
b)Too disabled to drive a motorcycle
c)Seriously injured and once you're rehabilitated enough to drive never EVER doing it again
c)Shaking, soaked in your own urine and never EVER doing it again

I told Miles to read the Motorcycle Road Code if he is serious about getting his 6L. I'm seriously scared for him if he goes at this with his typical "She'll be right! I know The Secret!" attitude and lack of preparation.

(Examples: Making up the routine for a competitive Circus School audition on the spot after having 8 months notice of the exam day. Ditto for a show that was make-or-break in deciding a theatre's future. Not looking for a job as long as he has enough in the bank to pay rent for the next week. Claiming an interest in becoming a Dom for me but not reading the links I found him. Planted a vege garden in the middle of last winter, complained 2 weeks later that the plants weren't growing and hasn't looked at it since. Get the picture?)

So. . . He is watching Derren Brown instead.

*Sigh*

Once again I've given him advice and he has ignored it. It's his problem from here on out.

I'll save my oxygen for more important things like to slobbering over bikes I couldn't possibly afford unless I won lotto.

Holy shit, I just came.

There is only ONE word for that bike, and that word is: UNF!

Oh yeah, this with a a metric crapton of fairings and fancy shit on it is what I mean by a "White Whale". Seeing the Crusties wreck the tyres of Mr.Vietch's White Whale at Carisbrook was one of the best nights of my life.

Talk down to me because I have tits, will you?!

I'll ride this baby over your cold, dead corpse and do a burnout on your face.

(In my revenge fantasies)

*Incoherent moans of longing*

~Peri

TemporaryBoss took me home early today.

1.5 hours into my shift and I was seriously fainty and moderately pukey.

Got wobbly and couldn't see when I was pushing a trolley out to do another round of Out of Codes (Gotta do them every 2-3 days) and slammed my fingers in between the trolley and the wall.

Got so upset I had a mini-meltdown that had Dierdre patting my back.

It was weird.

Still feel sick but so long as I'm sitting down not to fainty.

So thirsty but anything makes me wanna vom.

TemproaryBoss and I had a good old talk on the way home.

She says she hates the culture at my store (and the company in general), and I said it hadn't always been this way.

Turns out corporate hates it too and they're trying to change it.

That was worth bruised fingers to find out.

The weather has turned to ass. It's cold enough to turn the heatpump on.

Storm warnings for today and gale warnings tomorrow. Going to try to book my license test for Thursday or Friday when the report looks OK again.

Basically the last chance before my Restricted dies.

Why do I do this to myself, again?

"Works best when under pressure and cornered like a rat in a trap."

At least writing is going better.

Both the last round of the NewZuyan Tournament RP and the Quest RP have been put on hold, so I started a "PI-FanFiction" around two newbies to my training core who are attempting the really fucking hard goal of 1020 undeployed levels. If anyone is interested in that I'll post a link when I get a few more chapters up.

The fucking pony-inspired characters just won't leave me alone and I want the practsie at world-building before I embark on any of the more complex ideas that have sprung up around other characters.

Little fuckers are behaving better than the dragons right now. I just can' figure out what Evreth got up to in Gold-From-Wood and he bloody ceremony with the Blue Robes is doing my head in.

Deirdre wants it before she goes away in April.

Bitch had better repay me with postcards from Pompeii or I'll tell Customs she's trying to smuggle foreign honey back in past biosecurity. They went apeshit over my straw geta and almost burned Mum's didgeridoo because of the beeswax on the mouthpiece, they'll probably crucify Deirdre for honey.

Especially if I say it's unprocessed >:3

I've had a few random scenes for Keys hit me out of the blue, so it looks like that is coming together faster than I planned.

Not sure if that's good or bad.

I'm going to shut up and go try to sleep now.

If I can't work tomorrow I'll be catching up on blogs. Still stuck in Communications Meltdown Mode. Just want to make a little nest and hide in it for a decade or five.

~Peri

Weekend Vlog-Family Gossip

Made you a Vlog last night, updating Family Gossip, more art of Crash and random blathering I can't remember.



Behind on reading blogs again. Keep diving into fanfic. I'm sorry.

~Peri