Paper Man Cut Into Shreds By His Own Pair Of Scissors

Drinking to deal isn't a good idea. The warm, mellow fuzziness that comes between you and the pure unceasing SHIT is great though. It's ripped asunder by occasional molten RAGE, but it's good rage? Empathy for Terry Pratchett, lots of it.

Paternal Unit went to the supreme effort of taking my motorbike into the shop for me while I was at work and getting it "fixed". It still refused to start for me after work. Walking down to Uni pretty much cripples me now.

My knee is rooted. "Probable sever meniscal tear" Whatever, it fsking HURTS to walk long distances/up stairs/down stairs

My hair is coming out at the roots from stress. The ONLY thing I EVER liked about myself is leaving me!!!

Miles asked me what I like about myself, he persisted when I couldn't answer him. I was like "Helloo?? Clinical Depression?? I HATE MYSELF!!!"

I sold my skipping rope, the pretty blue one with weighted handles and bearings to let it turn smoothly without tangling. G-Meister bought it for her hubby P-Meister, since he didn't like the pink one. (which was tho only other one she could find for him)

Oh grrrrr I sliced up my thigh after work and I have a massage on Tuesday or Wednesday. How do I explain this if she has to rub out my quads?? FUCK! BEPANTHEN!!! Felt so much better than crying myself nearly sick and contemplating opening an artery or 4 in the shower, though.

I feel like the universe is punishing me for something. Maybe if I do all the punishing myself it will let up a bit? ((That was my reasoning))

Dralion is outside doing cat things. Days like this I really miss Squeaky.

Bubbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I need to put my knife block in a cupboard. I'm suicidal, not a career self-harmer. I'm too scared of living with failure to do shit in half-measures. Why did I cut myself today??

Oh, right. I remember now.

Why am I bothering to put together a Disaster Kit??

Contradictions and paradox. Ironic lol @ my Feri.

Time for more Vodka, and bed. It's warm there.

~Peri

Hell Takes Many Forms

Donate, help, pray.

But if you pray, DO SOMETHING too. That's what makes prayers work.

Sumner is being evacuated. The army has set up a Desalinization station to help get fresh water to the city. Manchester street is pretty much GONE. There is no bread, flour, milk or bottled water to be had in shops shouth of Christchurch, all focus is going on helping the victims. They've started pulling bodies out of the Cathedral. The licquefaction is estimated to be 300%-500% WORSE than in September last year.

Don't donate money on a page with an unsecured, super-long URL that makes no mention of the Red Cross. There are some fucking VULTURES out there running email scams. (These people also misspell the word "Christchurch" in their emails, among other things) I want to rip their heads off and use the empty skulls to carry send fresh water up in. Some fucking IDIOT Japanese journalists were arrested trying to break into Christchurch Hospital so they could interview patients.

We're publicly humiliating looters on FaceBook. 'Tis so much fun! Scumbags. They should be put on duty cleaning up silt and sewage as punishment.

Go Here to find people. They're starting to recover bodies now, since it's fucking unlikely anyone has survived this long. Good news? They can rebuild the cathedral and "Seriously Munted" is officially a technical term.

There is something good in every shitstorm.

Went to Prelims. Was horribly embarrassed to be resitting JAPA332 when EVERYONE including the cute half-japanese boy were doing JAPA333 this semester. I just wanted to sink into the floor when Hanako Sensei asked why she wasn't going to see me in class.

Saw a GP about my knee. Have a referral to the "Gypsy GP", so it's all in their hands now. Invested in an anti-inflammatory cream in the meantime, and it is fucking AMAZING!!!

I'm completely emotionally dead right now. My hair is falling out all over the place from stress. G-Meister grabbed some of my hair yesterday and pointed out exactly WHERE is started growing thinner and munted-looking. About 3 weeks ago when life started disintegrating around me. I should just shave it all off and invest in a bunch of cool wigs, or get started on knitting my Cunning Hat so it's ready in time for winter.

I'm completely exhausted.

The only reason I'm still fighting the demons in my mind is pure habit. It feels so petty and worthless compared to what is taking place up the road.

Is that what living is meant to be?

~Peri

Places, People: Crumbling.

Unending horrors. Just. . . horror.

I've heard from everyone except the Circo Arts people. The school is right across the road from the Basilica, DAMMIT the news only showed the carpark before cutting to another shot!!

Jaq is going up to see her family tonight. I gave her some canned food and warm jackets to take up with her.

There is just too much happening right now. Do you remember the bullshit certain people associated with KAOS put me through? That lead to this post? Yeah, they chose YESTERDAY to get back in touch with me about doing KAOS shit this year. Nice timing!

What part of "WASHING MY HAND OF THIS" don't you people understand??

I think this particular woman has gotten the clue, since she's made a new FaceBook group and hasn't invited me to it.

It does hurt a bit, coz I have been friends with some of them the entire time I've been studying. It wasn't KAOS as a whole that fucked me over, just a spoiled princess and her bullshit games. The people dumb or scared enough to listen to her. Not the people that really matter, those still talk to me. I have to remember that.

Just so fucking tired.

~Peri

Shake, Rattle and Roll!

First thing I do in an earthquake: Grab my coffee. Second thing: FaceBook about it and feel seasick.

I'm in Dunners, so all we got was a wiggle.

http://geofon.gfz-potsdam.de/db/eqpage.php?id=gfz2011dqyh

I'm still waiting for word back from Nana. Phone lines are down, roads are cracked and water mains are pissing out everywhere up there. I'm freaking out about her until she texts me.

She learned how to text after the earthquake last year. How awesome is my Nana??

Lol, I've looked up to her since forever. I want to be like her when I grow up!

~Peri

UPDATE:
Got the news on. Confirmed that Cathedral is severly damaged with people stuck inside.
Images:
http://twitpic.com/42dql0 (Not tha cathedral)
Phones are back on.

UPDATE:


EDIT:
Lol @Rudd. Cheers, mate.


UPDATE:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10707997
The steeple is gone from the Cathedral. NANA IS OK!!!!!!! So are L&L, nothing yet from K&S

Still Here!

*Crawls in*



Recovering well from the Fresher Flu. Should be good to head back to the Gym on Wednesday! Yippee! Lots of rest and disgusting ecanacea&Vitamin C tea seem to be doing the trick. If I had food in the house that didn't require cooking or had money to spend I'd be eating tons of crap food, so I guess enforced healthy eating is going some good.

Had exam this morning. Managed 2 essays before my brain collapsed. Questions were:
1) -COMPULSORY- Hero/ines facing death on our behalf
2) Fantasy needing one foot in reality

I was gonna do the third one about Women in Fantasy and include Moaning Myrtle, but the brain died. It was kinda like this:


So I went into the exam needing ONE really good essay to pass. I think I may have a C. I HOPE I have a C! Not answering a third question raped my chances, but there you go.

Got course approval out of the way with a minimum of fuss (Burns, Castle, Burns, Burns, Castle Green-Jacket queue, DONE!) and got the hell out of there. O-Week Tent City has taken over Union Lawn, Ewoks (Freshers) are everywhere and it's just too busy for me with only one coffee in my system!

Made an appointment with the odious Student Disabilities Secretary to see someone next week to talk me through the maze of forms required for the Limited Full-Time Study application process. She is one of those complete fuckwits who don't think there's anything wrong with you if you can walk in on your own two feet. Excuse me while I go hijack a wheelchair, bitch. I'm not discussing my medical history or right to be in this building with you.

I've got nothing to do until prelims on Friday. Sweet! Unfortunately I think Miles has caught this cold off me, so there may not be the camping we had planned. Oh well, shit happens! I wasn't looking forward to telling him I dislike Freedom Camping because of the damage to the local environment. He'd rather contribute to the problem than pay $20 to stay overnight at a camping ground ^.^; Saving money can go a wee bit too far sometimes!

I'll reply to comments in the morning. For now, I love you and Goodnight!

~Peri

1) Got a cold
2) MASSIVE period cramps
3) Knee hurts
4) Bike won't start
5) No movies with Belinda
6) Smacked eye on edge of bed frame
7) Work tomorrow
8) Uni printer took my money and didn't print my bill

Fuck you too, Friday. I'm going to just lie here and read The Chronicles of Narnia.

Filthy pox-ridden whorebag of a day.

Gonna see if Miles can jump-start the bike after work tonight. Then I'll go for a nice long ride if I can. Otherwise it's wait 4 weeks until the parentals are back and see if Dad can do it.

It's after 12pm, I can start drinking if I want.

~Peri

Purging Purging Hippos!

God I love QC!!

I think it would be fucking hysterical! Of course, we all know how fucked in the head I am.

What do you think?

~Peri

This Is A Post About A Whale. . . NO!

Ok, finally got around to talking about this "breakthrough" I had during the weekend. It's not what you'd call astronomical, but it was pretty damn earth-shattering for me. I think I've worked out one of the reasons I've been bingeing my ass off pretty much DAILY since I've moved into this flat.

I blame Lush. That seductively scented shop of bodily pampering.

I FINALLY go to one of their VIP events after work on Saturday. I RSVP-ed to the email so they'd reserve a goodie bag for me, pretty much FORCING myself to go and not make any excuses to get out of it XD

A little side note: I love the people who at Lush in Dunedin. They don't treat me like shit coz I wander into their store wearing steelcaps or tramping shoes, no makeup, scruffy "Just-wearing-it-to-work" clothes and slowly fading hair. I have to admit, the way I tend to look really doesn't shout "I'M WILLING TO SPEND SWEET SWEET MONEY IN YOUR STORE!!!" but looks CAN be deceiving!

Ok, so I brought a couple of massage bars and a lip balm, and got my Bag 'O Free Shit. $50 worth! SCORE!! :D I was using the shower gel sample that smells like a freshly mown lawn when I realized that this pampering was what I have been missing.

When I wasn't being a stingy cunt with my toiletries, I wasn't feeling unloved and deprived enough to chow down a loaf of bread every day. Treating myself as if I only deserved budget bathroom products created such a void of worthlessness that the only thing I felt I could comfort myself with was food. Not good food either, but cheap & nasty CRAP.

It seems that my old rule of "I'll go budget on anything EXCEPT the bathroom!" needs to come back RIGHT NOW! I deserve to pamper myself, DAMMIT!



EXACTLY!!!

For Valentines Day Miles and I went out for Thai after he finished work. Lol, I was sneaky and paid for it under pretext of getting another drink ^.^ Unfortunately I passed out on the couch when we got home. I was shattered from work and class and he makes a ridiculously comfy pillow! *Facepalm* Three hours later I woke up to find him playing Sims2, he'd covered me with his jacket and let me sleep ^.^;

I got some really fucking BAD news at the Gym yesterday. I bitched to one of the Personal Trainers/Physios about my knee clicking, and how it was actually starting to hurt when it clicked.

She gave me the kind of check-over a farrier gives a possibly lame horse. Prod, manipulate, put through paces, and issue verdict.

I may have torn the meniscus in my left knee. 9The click is on the outside, so i think it's the Lateral Meniscus) I need to go to a "Gypsy GP" who can assess it properly and if needs be, fling me straight on an MRI to find out what the damage looks like.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!

I'm upset and raging right now. PLEASE don't give me sympathy right now, it just reminds me of how much I could potentially lose if this keeps getting worse at the rate it has been.

I've gone from "Fine" to "Painful clicking and a limp" in about 6 weeks.

Right now I have to avoid locking my knees when I stand upright and try to NOT hyperextend the joints as is my habit when walking up stairs. I also need to keep off it as much as possible, avoid stairs and any high-impact activity until I can afford to go to the doctors.

A new pair of tramping shoes wouldn't hurt.

I'm gutted. Absolutely gutted.

I CANNOT avoid walking up stairs since the stafroom is on the second floor of the sodding building. I LIVE HALFWAY UP ONE OF THE STEEPEST STREETS IN TOWN. To get home I can bus, walk up 200+ stairs or up a fucking steep hill AND THEN SOME STAIRS.

No Acrobalance, no stiltwalking, maybe no gym, no hula-hooping, no poi, no doing walking tracks, sell my pushbike, sell my skipping rope. This shit could fuck MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Can you tell I'm really not happy with this situation? I'd be at the doctors tomorrow, but the Intertoobs bill needs paying first. Miles will be all smothering and sympathetic and cuddly, which is how he is. I've warned him that I'm Hulking out over this, so hopefully he'll give me a bit of air.

Let me get through the initial rage, then I'll calm down and start attacking this with my brain.

Until then, RAGE AND SADNESS AND ANGER AND TEARS. I do not want this at 24. My little Bro is gonna be a Daddy AGAIN in August, and I wanna be able to give this newest spawn pony-rides too. I've only been on my new stilts ONCE. If I have to sell them, I think it would kill me.

Think about happy things. Got 91% on my essay about Magical Fluffy Talking Animals. (Friendly Beasts in Fantasy Fiction) Joy!

Damn, I have no idea WHAT my parents were thinking when they let me watch this show!

~Peri

Happy Beheaded Saint Day!

Dear Person Reading This.

Yes, you.

I love you very, very much.

You are an amazing, wonderful miracle of life.







Happy Valentines day, love.

~Peri

XOXOXOXOXOXO

We Interrupt. . .

. . . Your scheduled posting with a grieving announcement.

Frank Whitten has left us.

This day marks the end of an era. Why are all the good bastards leaving us?

Thank you for the laughs you have given me. Maybe one day I can earn a seat next to you and Crumpy. Save a cold one for me, ok? It may be a while/

Haere rā, mate.

~Peri

AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!

THAT WAS FOUL!!!!!

I just burped and a whole bunch of white powder shot out of my nose!!! D:

The contents of the fat blockers I just popped mixed with the gas in my stomach when their casings dissolved. So foul.

God it feels nasty.

At least it's just like chalk dust. It doesn't taste/smell anywhere near as bad as when the multivits did it!

*Shudders*

~Peri

P.S. I had a little breakthrough today concerning my head state. I'll discuss it tomorrow when I have more time. However I can confirm that it is most definitely related to why my shower gel smells like a freshly mown lawn ;)

Observations

A collection of observations I have made recently about the world around me.

1) You know how some stress can be a good thing? Helps you nail that speech or get that extra few points on an exam? The point where stress becomes absolutely fucking USELESS is when you can't sleep because you're freaking out about oversleeping. . . and you sleep through the start of your class.

2) Autopilot no longer works when I am making my morning coffee. This was evidenced by my fruitless attempts to get milk out of the bottle with a teaspoon. *Facepalm*

3) There is a unicycle in my hallway. This feels about as mundane as seeing Pegasus in a parking building.

4) Some people (Lecturers, regular costomers etc) have a warped view of my nature. They seem to think I'm a sweet little angel.

5) Said people dislike being disabused of this notion, and react with complete horror when I say things like "Bollocks!" and "Fuck!"

6) These purple hippie pants may be dangerous to my health. I've tripped over them a bunch of times today, and nearly brained myself on the stove.

7) I procrastinate far too much.

8) I am sick to bloody death of the essay. I think this is why I put off doing it for so long. A better idea would have been getting it out of the fucking way so I could do something enjoyable (Like your Mum) without it hanging over my head.

9) Interesting

10) This is possibly the best - or worst - song to have in your head when you wake up:


11) You are AMAZING for reading and commenting on my bullshit.

Legs 11, that's enough. Damn, I can still remember most of the bingo calls from Christmases spent at Toko Mouth. I love that place!

Got about 4 hours sleep last night, thanks to the neighbour's gaming addiction. Turns out he play Fallout with a bunch of mods to make it harder D: He's gonna keep the volume down now, since I talked to him about it this morning. I think I know why the person who lived here before me played death metal at 3am!

I was supposed to go shopping with Jaq today, but she cancelled again. Seriously considering burying the remains of that friendship before the start to stink. We organize to hand out once every other month, and 9/10 times she cancels. I'm just over it.

I'm gonna go have more coffee and do something distracting before I get all mopey and whiny with lack of sleep. "Wahwahwah nobody loves me, nobody wants to hang out with me, I have no friends, wahwahwah" *Facepalm* That's the tiredness talking.


Po pi po pi po po pi po!

:D

~Peri

Washed Away

It's not every flat that comes with a private waterfall, but I have one!

The guttering outside my kitchen window has failed, giving me a pretty waterfall that makes a nice thundering noise on DeeDee's lounge roof, and flows in around the kitchen windows. I guess I have a private lake, too. It's not quite as reliable as the waterfall though!

I'm pretty fucking sure there is ANOTHER leak in the lounge. I spotted it the other night drooling on my couch. I can hear it, but I can't fucking see it.

Oh, wait. There it goes. FUCK!

. . . Back. It spread during that last bit of heavy rain, so I had to get more containers. Seriously, I need to find out which God I have offended STAT so I can make amends.

Maybe the Landlord just needs to replace the whole fucking roof! It's disgusting the state some of the places get into. The Dragon Cafe started collapsing during the gales last month. Why? The owners of the building didn't maintain it, so it started to collapse. It's only now that it's a danger to anyone near it and needs to be pulled down that the Historic Places Trust takes any interest. I'll go down and take a photo of it for you tomorrow or Thursday. They've got half the street blocked off so they can literally hold the building up with industrial supports!

*Facedesk*

I've been surprisingly productive so fat this week. Ok, it's been two days but I've actually remembered to put the rubbish out, done washing, vacuumed the house and posted Mr.Mauve his scarf. I tweaked my Red Deck with some cards from the Mirrodin Besieged block, and somehow it kicks even more ass than before. 3 cards shouldn't make THAT much difference, but somehow it does ^.^

I've even organised to go Op-Shopping with Jaq on Thursday. Given where my head's been at (And honestly, is still at) over the last 2 weeks this is FUCKING AMAZING!!

Now lets see if I can achieve my TWO MAJOR goals for the week:
1) Normalize sleep cycle
2) Finish essay and hand it in on time

I have a feeling that I may be being a little ambitious here.



We'll see.

~Peri

Isolating

And I don't even care.

Maybe I just need proper sleep. Maybe I just need to be left alone.

Does This Count As Poetry?

OH THE SHAME!! THE HORROR!!! THE EMBARRASSMENTS!!!

TEH VLOGZ!!!!1!!!1!





TEH WORDS - For the NZ-Accent-Understanding-Impaired. (Too many fucking hyphens)
"It is difficult to appreciate how close death is when you are engaged in the intensely life-affirming action of shoving food down your throat.

The aftermath, the agonies of guilt and self-reproach never cross the mind when the adrenaline rush kicks in and the gorge is on in earnest.

Abuse of life; affirmation of death.

Feed the emptiness, then empty back out again.

Stuff, cram, swallow, chew, consume everything within reach.

Then twist.

Stab the throat, crouch in agony over the bowl, ripped in half by self-inflicted laxative fury. Miles of sweating rage and despair, blisters on blisters on blisters. Fly on a cerebrally produced opiate high, growling giddily empty.

Until you crash into the mountainous instinct to survive and it begins over again.

Find the middle of the see-saw. Teeter and wobble, correct and stand tall.

Tip.

One side, another. Back and forwards, frantic hopeless pendulum motion."




And this is why I shouldn't be out of bed past 1am. Or Midnight. Or maybe I should just stay in bed where you are all safe from the ramblings of a disturbed Entelodont.

I could live with that! Blankie here I coooooooooooooooooooooome!! :D

~Peri

Lookit What I Found!

I am going to extreme lengths to avoid writing the 3000 word essay due on the 10th. In the frantic fits of procrastination, I have discovered a series on YouTube called Prehistoric Predators, and am devouring it's offerings with great enjoyment.

One of the episodes is all about the Entelodont, or Hell Pig. I've FINALLY found an external representation of my internal self. In other words, inside I'm about as cute and lovable as one of these guys:





Of course, these ugly motherfuckers are also totally bad-ass. Watch the episode you get time :D


Have a good weekend!

~Peri

But I Feel Celestial. . .

I love that song.

Totally unrelated to the disjointed ramble to follow. Maybe. I don't know.

Today I was put in a situation I'd never expected to be in. It was a rather odd and not entirely comfortable place to be. Knitting Squad met today at the Museum, since they STILL haven't shifted our lovely little prefab lair to where it should have been last Christmas. I got talking to a woman who I hadn't seen since November last year. She didn't seem as cheerful as last time I saw her. I soon discovered why.

You see, this woman has a daughter. A daughter who cuts. They've been trying to get help from our piece of SHIT funding-deprived mental health service for some time now. The finally found a good therapist after months of struggle. The daughter's therapist has moved to the West Coast to get married, just as she was beginning to trust her. The knitting squad woman is going to therapy every week herself just to cope with the situation.

We had a massive conversation in fits and starts, sitting in our comfy chairs outside the Tangata Whenua gallery. Struggling to understand and be understood. Confusion and heartbreak and hugs, all with our polite, earnest public faces on so nobody would get overly curious about our conversation.

I tried to explain to her the desire to hurt yourself, how inside our heads we are the most disgusting, pathetic, unlovable creatures imaginable. How we DESERVE to hurt, DESERVE to bleed. How this fucked-up coping mechanism can become an addiction on the level of crack and starvation. I told her that if you don't believe yourself worthy of love, if you hate yourself so much you chose annihilation over life, the idea that others see you as worthy of love is entirely unfathomable.

She told me about how helpless she feels. It is totally unfathomable to her and seeing her child slicing herself to bits, with no other means of self-expression, kills her.

She said she got really angry at one point and issued the typical parental ultimatum "You can't stay here if you're going to do this under my roof".

I warned her that cutting is not just an arms-and-legs deal. About how you can and do move to other parts of the body to keep control of your pain when people start inspecting you. About how someone (No manes were named) now has an indwelling catheter after cutting too deeply on their stomach and fucking up the nerves to their bladder. Hopefully this will stop her becoming a privacy-invading daily-inspection-fascist like some dipshits do.

She is the only person I have told face-to-face about my own self harm history. My own mother never hugged me that hard.

I told her about how I have found people here who understand, who help me through the bad days when I want nothing more than to erase my disgusting stain of an existence off the face of the earth. You beautiful, shining people are the net under my highwire. The rope beside my unicycle. The starlight at moonless midnight.

I wanted to help her, both help her cope and help her understand. I'm going to hunt up some support forums for her, and maybe direct her to some of the voices among us who experience a similar hell to her daughter. It is so hard for normal people to get why we do this. The uncomprehending and appalled look on her face when I tried to explain the self-loathing nearly broke my heart. Breaking for her, her child, myself, you, everyone trapped in and touched by the storms of mental hades.

I'm going to make her a CD from my 'Help' playlist, to help her through the bad days. Who knows? It might help her daughter too. I don't know, though. Who likes it when their parents treat them like stroppy toddlers and nosy strangers butt in telling you they know what you're going through?

Lol, certainly not me!

I don't know what to do. I've never been in this situation before. I feel like a broken stick trying to help prop up a wobbly boat. Of course, this stick volunteered and should keep involvement limited to being a provider of hugs. The therapists here aren't very good at giving hugs.

Oooooh, David Elliot is guest lecturing tomorrow! *Squeals like a high school girl* I should go try to write some essay and then pretend to sleep like normal people.

Worrying about my bike is gonna keep me up. If its sunny Friday I should go for a ride. Or tomorrow morning. Definitely.

~Peri

Honest Crap

Yep, I'm screwing with the blog layout again. The header was kindly made by Kat, coz she is awesome.


Miche gave me this. I dunno why. Go stalk her blog, she is amazing.

10 pervy little fact about myself you possibly don't know by now. WELL. That covers a rather wide ocean of information. Where do I begin?

1) As of this post, I have yet to break any bones. Of my own or others ^.-

2) I can whistle just well enough to fuck with bellbird's heads.

3) I envy ballerinas. And Gymnasts. And contortionists. And ANYONE who can do aerial silks.

4) The smell of raw celery makes me gag. Every time I had to scan it on checkouts I'd hold my breath until that shit was safely tucked in a plastic bag AWAY from my nose!

5) The opening scenes of AVP2 made me cry with laughter. . . In the movie theater.

6) When taking the piss, I don't discriminate. I take the shit out of EVERYTHING. Gender/race/age/handicap/religion, it's all game to me. (Special treatment isn't equal treatment)

7) I've never been able to do the splits, E-V-E-R. However I can tuck my hands under my feet without bending my knees.

8) Deep down I'm terrified I may have given myself brain damage from the many attempts to overdose on paracetamol. However, I think I'm just being paranoid.

9) The first time I ever saw a cockroach I wan in Japan. Showering. Naked and defenseless. This 1.5-inch long brown hellbug flew at my FACE out of nowhere. Cue the birth of a lifelong enmity and a bout of screaming in abject terror.

10) I love the smell of pine sap, poplar leaves and warm bready things.

Has that satisfied you?

Probably not.

Tough shit.

This morning was an unmitigated disaster when it came to imitating a normal person's level of functioning. Overslept, late for gym booking, forgot to put out the rubbish for the 3rd week in a row. My bin is overflowing, it's reaching crisis point!

Feeling generally very useless. Not doing things, not doing my assignment, having my bike out there in the rain with no cover on is making me feel like a worthless pile of crap. To combat that I am making a plan of how to demolish the things that are triggering Teh Sadz (Buy bike cover, schedule riding time, make PUT OUT RUBBISH sign, make designated assignment writing times) and reading LolCats.






Lol, ok ENOUGH!! Imma go make that sign and read some more Harry Potter. That kid has so many brushes with death he is PERFECT for the exam question!

~Peri